Celebrities

Dax Shepard Installs A “Toiletry Safe” And Kristen Bell’s Not Having It

My toddler loves to hide the keys. Often, I will find them in a shoe. The other day, they were in a bowl. The point? If you have a kid, things will go missing. It’s no different with celebrities, except they probably have twenty key replacements and an assistant who can go and get a new copy. Anyway, Dax Shepard recently bought a “toiletry safe” to keep all his personal crap safe from wife Kristen Bell and his two children. Good luck, Dax! 

Shepard posted about the “toiletry safe” on Instagram, explaining that he purchased a literal gun safe in which to put his tweezers, nail clippers, and hairbrush: “I measured my bathroom drawer before I ordered this so it fits,” he says. 

In the beginning of the video, Shepard says he believes his wife and kids are stealing his personal hygiene items, including the plastic attachment that goes on the end of an electric beard clipper. Kristen is not amused. 

“In this episode, Dax takes measures to protect himself from the ferrets that live down the hall, and Kristen admits to accidentally throwing away a necessary part of his shaver,” Bell jokingly captions the video.

“Babe, you can’t say ‘stolen’ when your kid takes your stuff,” Bell tells Shepard. 

In “Episode 2,” Shepard shows Bell how the safe fits in his drawer. They also argue about how many towels a family of four needs. Shepard says “two.” Bell says “more than that.” She is correct. 

“You’re a lunatic,” Bell says. 

In episode three, Part 3: 60% of the remotes are missing. 

In part three, Bell writes, “Dax piles on his list of grievances, kristen remains slack Jawed at her husbands behavior. And Dax admits he never checked under the bed.” 

Dax! Always check under the bed! 

“60% of the Apple TV remotes are missing, 100% of the tweezers, and 100% of the nail clippers,” Shepard says. 

Finally, Bell posts the finale of this domestic drama: “Caught with a Q-tip.”

“Dax gets busted. Kristen attempts to check mate dax on his Q-tip usage, knowing she has lost the argument about the safe. Dax offers to cut all Her hair off in 5 seconds,” Bell writes. 

Look, quarantine life is hard on everyone. Will a gun safe help keep Dax’s toiletries safe? Probably not. Tune in next time for more relatable family content!

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Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.