1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean 1979 horoscope
Funny

People Are Feeling Attacked By These Hilarious But Mean 1979 Horoscopes

Whether or not you believe in astrology, it’s probably easy to understand why people enjoy horoscopes: they’re a way to feel for just a moment that the universe cares about you.

Ridiculous? Maybe. Comforting? Yes!

Horoscopes are usually filled with vague, encouraging platitudes that tell you you’re great, you’re doing great, and things will soon be going great. That’s the support we need.

But what if we read horoscopes just to get absolutely dragged instead? A Twitter user named @friends3000 shared a picture of an aged-looking piece of paper that appears to be typewritten with a horoscope for each sun sign written across it.

“1979 horoscope i am f*cking begging you to read this,” they captioned it.

funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000, 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean 1979 horoscope

Each and every horoscope is the most insulting thing you could possibly read about yourself…and it’s oddly satisfying.

Aquarius: “You lie a great deal.”

funny aquarius horoscope, funny old aquarius horoscope, mean aquarius horoscope, 1979 aquarius horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Pisces: “Generally a dipsh*t.”

funny pisces horoscope, funny old pisces horoscope, 1979 pisces horoscope, mean pisces horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Aries: “You are a pr*ck.”

funny aries horoscope, funny old aries horoscope, old aries horoscope, mean aries horoscope, 1979 aries horoscope, mean old aries horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Taurus: “Nothing but a dam communist.”

funny taurus horoscope, funny old taurus horoscope, old taurus horoscope, 1979 taurus horoscope, mean taurus horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Gemini: “Cheap bastard/b*tch.”

funny old gemini horoscope, funny gemini horoscope, mean gemini horoscope, 1979 gemini horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Cancer: “Won’t be worth sh*t.”

funny cancer horoscope, mean cancer horoscope, funny old cancer horoscope, 1979 cancer horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Leo: “You arrogance is disgusting.”

funny leo horoscope, mean leo horoscope, funny old leo horoscope, 1979 leo horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Virgo: “Often fall asleep while f*cking.”

funny old virgo horoscope, funny virgo horoscope, old virgo horoscope, mean virgo horoscope, 1979 virgo horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Libra: “All Libras dies of veneral disease.”

funny old libra horoscope, funny libra horoscope, old libra horoscope, mean libra horoscope, 1979 libra horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Scorpio: “Total lack of ethics.”

funny scorpio horoscope, funny old scorpio horoscope, old scorpio horoscope, mean scorpio horoscope, 1979 scorpio horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Sagittarius: “Not worth the time of day.”

funny sagittarius horoscope, funny old sagittarius horoscope, mean sagittarius horoscope, 1979 sagittarius horoscope, funny old horoscope, funny old horoscopes, funny horoscope, 1979 horoscope, 1979 horoscopes, funny horoscopes, @friends3000 astrology, @friends3000 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscope, @friends3000 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscopes, funny 1979 horoscope, mean horoscope, mean old horoscope, mean horoscopes, funny mean horoscopes, mean funny horoscopes, roasted by horoscope, horoscope roasts astrology signs, horoscopes roast signs, @friends3000 twitter, @friends3000

Capricorn: “You should kill yourself.”

mean old capricorn horoscope, mean capricorn horoscope

Are these horoscopes really from the ’70s? Who knows, but people find them entirely relatable in the year 2020, based on the response. It was almost like people were excited to embrace and believe these insults, the same way they would compliments:

Astrology might not be real, but these are some real burns.

You may or may not also enjoy these high-quality links:

Aimeé Lutkin