To those of us taking the concept of social distancing seriously, it’s frustrating when others don’t. You put on your mask and your gloves and carefully head out on a rare trip to the grocery store or pharmacy, only to have someone brush thoughtlessly past you, or come right up to your face to hold a conversation.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much to be done about people who get that close. But a social worker in Utah wants people to at least realize the error of their ways once it’s happened.
Mindy Vincent made a splash last week after she shared a photo of the gear she puts on when she leaves her house to go out into the world — specifically, a face mask covered in cartoon penises.
“Behold! My masks have arrived! I wore this to Walmart and Petco today,” she wrote. “When someone tells me my ask has penises on it, I will kindly let them know this is how I determine they are too close, kindly back the fuck up.”
Vincent’s colorful devotion to social distancing has made her an instant champion to online spectators.
I think adding the flowers was a nice touch!
— Barbara O’Toole (@barbaraot) April 11, 2020
— Emily Robison (@emilyrobison27) April 11, 2020
— 💜💛 (@baejaaan) April 11, 2020
Bro I want one. That fabric is amazing
— 🎊I’msad🎊 (@RileyLacey) April 11, 2020
Some heroes wear masks
— Caroline Bliss Larsen’s next book out in 2 DAYS 📚 (@editor_caro) April 12, 2020
And the jokes pretty much write themselves.
No Brad.. not genius…. it’s penius
— JuniorBoy34🍷 (@juniorboi34) April 11, 2020
I think pennies is a GREAT slang term for penises so small you can’t almost see them.
— Holden Van Dyke (@RhapEclect) April 11, 2020
Don’t wear it in the cold! It’ll shrink up to a nose warmer.
— If Republicans aren’t cheating, they’re not winnin (@russel_nelson) April 11, 2020
There are dildos and dildonts in this world. This is the former.
— socially distant Tippi (@TrashFireT) April 10, 2020
Yeah I need this in my life.
Now I can have penises near my mouth at all times <3
— ShadowBeatz (@ShadowBeatz) April 13, 2020
The dick masks have gotten so popular that Vincent decided to market them.
She originally purchased the masks for her and her coworkers so they could continue their work with Utah Harm Reduction Coalition, a nonprofit aimed at reducing health and social harms associated with substance abuse, according to their website.
#projectpenismask is in effect! Masks are ready to be purchased! I heard your cries for boobs and vaginas, so we threw in some of them! Together we can #cockblockcorona and #twatswatcorona! We love you guys so much and thank you for supporting our cause! https://t.co/mdNpLCzCiV
— Mindy Vincent (@MindyVi90992223) April 12, 2020
Unfortunately, they’re currently sold out, but aren’t all good things worth the wait?
In the meantime…did anyone have “penis masks” on their apocalyptic aesthetic bingo card? No?