Part of quarantine is being stuck with whoever is nearby. Your lover, your family, your roommates, and for better or worse, your neighbors. Some people have great neighbors who are there in times of need and who make a house on a block feel like part of a community. Other people have neighbors from hell who play the tuba and call the cops on a regular basis. Right now, people all over America are finding out which category their neighbors are in if they didn’t know already.
On Twitter, folks are sharing all the horrifying and heartwarming details of living next door to angels and demons. There is a lot of overheard boinking, a lot of poorly timed musical improvisation, and a lot of shock over what other people consider “social distancing.” If it involves mimosas and a paddling pool, you’re not doing it right.
Look, it’s hard to stay inside, especially when you hate the people who live immediately outside and to the right or left. But the sooner we can get through this dang quarantine, the sooner we can start to be annoyed by other humans who live much farther away—or at the very least, stop hearing everyone else having sex at all hours of the day.
Get through the next few minutes by reading these tweets:
Isolation update: everyone has their windows open and someone in the building next to mine was having sex and she came super loud and then a bunch of people cheered lmao
— Siobhan Thompson, mysterious European heiress (@vornietom) March 28, 2020
So my neighbors put a sign out in their yard pic.twitter.com/x1rHCkoW7Y
— tyler perry (@tylermperry00) April 2, 2020
all the local kids have painted rainbows to stick in the windows to get us through COVID-19 and show support for the NHS. 🌈🌈🌈 pic.twitter.com/GBsmIUfjoo
— J Λ M Ξ S (@jamesglynn) March 27, 2020
Guys please help pic.twitter.com/T7bOF60zbN
— Kimberly ❄️Ice Princess ❄️ Dinaro (@KimberDin) March 26, 2020
my neighbors who used to have very loud midday sex no longer do it, either they moved or broke up either way this makes me sad.
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) April 2, 2020
A neighbor saw me doing a tiktok dance through the window and now i can never come out of quarantine.
— jeremy messersmith (@jmessersmith) March 28, 2020
Conversation from the neighbors I just overheard.
Woman: If my name comes out of that bitch’s mouth one more time in a way that’s disrespectful, I’m going to ruin her life. I know a lot of shit. And I can light her up.
Man: Your mom didn’t mean it.
— [kie.ran] (@danblackroyd) April 2, 2020
My neighbor needed hand soap and this was the only empty bottle I had to put it in (left it on the porch for her lol) pic.twitter.com/uWZ8IqD138
— Kat (@itskatzilla) April 2, 2020
This cheered me up pic.twitter.com/n9e01ALjcR
— Chris Towers (@CTowersCBS) March 25, 2020
— Jose Juarez (@WestTexKid) April 2, 2020