Meant to text a girl named Molly. Texted my mom saying to come over. Not bad but keep in mind I’m in college 6 hours away. I woke up and saw I texted my mom. Tried to stop her but she was less than 2 hours away. She came in such a hurry she didn’t book a hotel room so she stayed In my dorm room for the night with me and my roommate.
12.
One time I replied to a text with “nah man I’m in bed trying to get some D” I meant to say sleep, but for some reason I only typed 1 letter and must have accidentally hit D since it’s right next to S.
13.
“Stop sending me dick pics!” sent to husband instead of drunk gay friend who was sending me everything on his phone because he thought it was hilarious to watch me get embarrassed at the bar. Spouse was not amused.
14.
I sent my friend a text that just said “Follow your dreams, bitch.” I don’t remember why.
15.
I once accidentally sent ‘being drunk and alone with no girl to hold is one of the worst things ever’ to a female friend when I meant to send it to my girlfriend. She sent me a close up of her nipple. Guess what? When I’m drunk I can’t tell nipples apart. I complimented it and said I’d like to see more. I suddenly got a full frontal nude picture of this friend. I was very confused and went to bed.
Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids. All opinions are mine and very dumb.
Jason Mustian
