“I’m no weather man but you can expect a few inches tonight.” Did not pan out.
17.
“I THOUGHT that was your sexy ass.” Sent it to the printer repair contractor at work instead of my boyfriend. They both have the same first name.
18.
“My dad’s totally gonna know I’m drunk and high” sent text to my dad… He responded, “I do now, you dumb ass.”
19.
I somehow managed to mass text everybody on my contacts list “Where are you?” at 2:30am. I woke up to a shit load of texts, and tried to figure out how it was even possible I did it, then I accidentally resent it again to everybody.
20.
Once I asked a girl if she would eat my cum. After she turned down the offer, I said “Fine, more for me.”
Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids. All opinions are mine and very dumb.
Jason Mustian
