In full honesty, some of these tweets might be from last week or the week before, but they’re the most hilarious Twitter moments we came across this week and we’d like to share them with you. You’re welcome.
How im walking in on thanksgiving to get my plate pic.twitter.com/kRVUsc6H9M
— Ⓜ️ (@DoubleHMarcus) November 13, 2018
What she sees vs what I see pic.twitter.com/9qML6QknW9
— Abel (@deepfriedboi) November 3, 2019
the Purge but instead of killing for 24 hours we get to talk to customers the way they talk to us
— Amy Carroll (@Carroll_Amy_) November 9, 2018
the best thing about my school is the danny devito shrine hidden behind the paper towel dispenser in one of the bathrooms pic.twitter.com/3jFe0V9eK6
— thinking smellers union local 282 (@slackerdook) November 13, 2018
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
I went ahead and exposed they ass. pic.twitter.com/6ZcbcN1J5G
— BOBBY SMIFF (@BobbySmif) November 15, 2018
Lmao nobody can say they knew this pic.twitter.com/oZRIrgfo32
— #GBTG (@ShowOut45) November 11, 2018
Lmao nobody can say they knew this pic.twitter.com/F0CEQPWz5p
— michael (@mbdalton) November 14, 2018
can’t wait to ride the mary-go-round pic.twitter.com/HSnAb530jy
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) November 16, 2018
I’ve been told I need to draw up my will. It’s really hard but I don’t want my family fighting over my Bed Bath and Beyond coupons that never expire, my lifelong soy sauce packets from takeout Chinese and my Target plastic bags I use for trash bags.
Thank God I don’t have money.
— Cristela Alonzo (@cristela9) November 16, 2018
I’m ‘need the recap before every episode to understand what’s happening on a show even when I watch five in a row.” years old.
— Desi (@DesiJed) November 16, 2018
To be fair, Facebook is still excellent for finding out if Debbie Linder from Mr. Eschen's geometry class married that guy with the teeth.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) November 16, 2018
It’s been a while since i was a child, but I don’t remember saying “the Grinch should be longer”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 9, 2018