TikTok is for teens, Twitter is for people with irony poisoning, Facebook is for your boomer parents. LinkedIn is a whole other ballgame. It’s not just a social media platform, it’s a platform for BUSINESS. Most people only have LinkedIn profiles for applying to jobs and then they forget about it.
But there’s a special elite force of LinkedIn users who spend all of their time trying to convince everyone they’re the next titan of industry or kind entrepreneur. HR reps and recruiters reign supreme. The posts coming out of these people is a bizarre mix of inspiration porn, made up stories about altruistic acts, and fifth-tier self-help tips. And they all like each other’s stuff constantly!
Being a deeply unambitious person, I’ve never been super aware of the LinkedIn world, but the Twitter account @CrapOnLinkedIn won’t let me avoid it. I can’t look away, in fact.
They collect the most egregious posts from unsuspecting business worm brains and share them with the rest of us, so we don’t ever have to sign in and accidentally spam our entire contact list with friend requests. Here are some of the best of the worst they have to offer:
1.
2003: LinkedIn social network for professionals launches
2020: LinkedIn beauty tips! #linkedin #porefessionals (sorry) pic.twitter.com/Z3VBNQDRvW— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) September 1, 2020
2.
Afternoon Professionals! #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/IjscoPJwpr
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) September 1, 2020
3.
Food for thought #linkedin pic.twitter.com/WCebrPS77V
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) August 29, 2020
4.
There are several elements missing from this “I helped someone in need then talked about it on LinkedIn” post #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/g1XbxMtvLO
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) August 28, 2020
5.
Short people will save the world #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/5KygILRFXC
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) December 3, 2019
6.
Also very, very irritating for the person who asked you a question #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/1UK7MfZPpT
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) June 16, 2019
7.
And the 3.7 GPA, Health Sciences major and internship at FB definitely didn’t help get you the interview in the first place #linkedin pic.twitter.com/7h7iovN2Mj
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) August 28, 2020
8.
Sorry it’s a day late guys
MAN AGE MEN T #saturday_sales pic.twitter.com/WNua1Bxb6Q— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) June 14, 2020
9.
Fantastic opportunity to hire a feisty, ambitious employee who only needs to be paid in smiles #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/KdT2MZTiym
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) August 13, 2020
10.
tHaNkYoUuU #linkedin pic.twitter.com/JX16TQYYpK
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) February 10, 2020