Masha
21.
https://twitter.com/ronnyravegan/status/1066355886891851776
22.
Ladies, if he:
-is italian
-is hot and spicy
-ignores your texts
-loses your snap streak
-doesn’t like your tweets
-is delicious and nutritious
-can be made with three simple ingredientsHe isn’t your man. He’s a hot and spicy plate of spaghett.
— pigeon (@imskytrash) November 24, 2018
23.
Ladies, if he:
– never responds to your texts
– has never watched your insta story
– doesn’t have a backbone
– only lights up after dark
– is endemic to the Hawaiian archipelagoHe's not your man. He’s a Hawaiian bobtail squid.
— Sarah McAnulty, Ph.D (@SarahMackAttack) November 23, 2018
24.
https://twitter.com/karta531/status/1066201001949048832
25. Even companies, brands, and TV shows got into it…
Ladies, if he:
– can last all day and night
– fits perfectly in your hand
– has an extra-long, flexible tip
– has a smooth stroke
– is your go-to eyeliner in your makeup bagHe’s not your man, he’s our Fenty Beauty Flyliner
— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) November 26, 2018
26.
Ladies, if he:
– never texts back
– doesn’t follow you on social media
– can’t go in the water
– emotionally tortures you
– has a super hard shellHe's not your man. He's a book, and books are better than men, so happy reading.
— Random House Group (@randomhouse) November 24, 2018
27.
Ladies, if he:
-Doesn’t return your calls
-Makes you foot the bill
-Is never there for you when you need him
-Pays his CEOs over $20 million a year and denies medically necessary care to the sickHe’s not your man, he's the private insurance industry. Dump his ass
— DSA for Medicare for All (@dsam4a) November 26, 2018
28.
Ladies, if he:
– never responds to your texts
– can't stop saying "Jason"
– has only existed for 7 hours
– is a willing sex robot
– has wind chimes where his ding-dong should beHe's not your man. He’s Derek Hoffstetler, P.I. pic.twitter.com/dNgZ16dGh8
— The Good Place is taking it sleazy (@nbcthegoodplace) November 27, 2018
29.
Ladies, if he:
– makes you sound better
– usually means the same thing
– finishes your sentencesHe's not your man. He's a synonym.
— Thesaurus.com (@thesauruscom) November 25, 2018
30.
Ladies, if he:
-Is skinny
-Speaks in the third person
-Loves shiny things
-Talks to himself
-Wakes you up to the sound of him whining for My Love, and My PreciousHe’s not your man. He’s Gollum. pic.twitter.com/3CgRLgK9lT
— Warner Bros. Entertainment (@WBHomeEnt) November 26, 2018
31.
Ladies, if he:
-Is always there for you
-Waits at home all day
-Keeps playing games with you
-Beeps every time you turn him onHe’s not your man, he’s a PS4
— PlayStation UK (@PlayStationUK) November 27, 2018
