31 Tweets About Life With Children That’ll Have Parents Asking, ‘Did I Write This?’

21.

So glad my kids have the day off tomorrow because I really miss hearing arguing between the hours of 8am to 3pm.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 12, 2018

22.

Me: I’m only going to ask you to clean this mess up ONE more time.

6-year-old: That’s good. I was tired of hearing you ask.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) October 6, 2018

23.

3-year-old: *face covered in frosting*

Me: Were you eating cake?

3: No. I just kissed it.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 12, 2018

24.

I’m not saying one of my kids is “more difficult” than the others, but so far my oldest wants a remote control car for Christmas, the youngest wants a stuffed unicorn, and the middle one has requested a dinosaur egg so he can raise and train his own velociraptor from birth.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 28, 2018

25.

me: i love you
son: i love popsicles

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 12, 2018

26.

Tonight, my four year old called us into the room so we could all hold hands. Then he told us he was the leader.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) October 18, 2018

27.

Baby: *tries to eat a piece of a leaf*

Me: "No no, don't eat that."

Baby: *Looks at me, looks at leaf, looks at me, looks back at leaf*

Me: "Don't do it…"

Baby: *salivating at the fallen leaf like I do at a donut, then shoves entire leaf in mouth*

Me: *clocks out*

— Stay at Homie (@stayathomies) October 11, 2018

28.

https://twitter.com/PleaseBeGneiss/status/1046202237867814912

29.

[Son's 1st day of school]
Me: Did you make any friends today?
Son: Yes!
Me: *kneels down next to him* how do you do that?

— The Dad (@thedad) October 22, 2018

30.

Me: (looking at daughter's craft) you didn't put my name down as one of the people you've thankful for.
6: I, um, ran out of room.
Me: oh. That's cool.
6: I wanted to write Netflix. And you'd have been right after that.

— Emme Reynolds (@TheEmmeReynolds) October 4, 2018

31.

Friend: For an hour of free babysitting, would you-

Me: YES

Friend: I haven't explained wh-

Me: [pulls out of the garage]

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) September 30, 2018