Dad’s Hilarious Viral Instagram Is Brutally Honest About Being The Only Man In A House Of Four Daughters

Meet professional dad, Simon Hooper

Hooper, an Instagram influencer and the author of a book called Dad Life, posts pictures of his daily life on an account called @father_of_daughters

As the married father of four girls, Hooper is very much outnumbered in his house.

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Mums have one of the hardest & at times the most thankless jobs on the planet, but just know that the everything would quite literally grind to a halt without you – you are force that keeps the world spinning, so here's to all the mums. To those mums that grew the next generation – whether a mother to one or many, to the ones that put themselves out there, that pound the pavement with buggies, who night feed, who give up work to invest in their family or who are still in work and balancing it all. To the shattered mums, the single mums, the 'it's complicated' mums & those families lucky enough to have 2 mums. To the shouty mums, the arty mums and the 'everything will be ok' mums. To those mother's of children who are no longer physically here, but still vividly exist in hearts & minds. To those mums who face adversity in its many forms but still meet the day with a smile & who do the best for their children. To every mother – You are appreciated, even if it's not done vocally. Happy mother's day. Tag someone who needs to hear this today. #mothersday #keeptheworldturning #fatherofdaughters #toallthemums #dadlife #instadad #fod photo by @philippajames

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His wife is @mother_of_daughters on Instagram and Clemmie Hooper in real life. She’s an author, too!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvmWJafH_QS/

But we’re focusing on Simon Hooper, because his struggles as a guy in a house of five women are hilarious. 

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Did anyone else spend their mornings as a kid completely unsupervised, glued to the slow flicking pages of ceefax / Teletext before actual programmes like dappledown farm, Jason & the wheeled warriors & the racoons came on? If you did, then that meant you were up before 5.30am, usually the only one moving in a house of slumbering people & free from parental control, which felt liberating! Well it seems that Ottie & Delilah have my genes as, while I did my rather convincing impression of a morgue resident, they've took the opportunity engage silent mode (a mode I didn't know they had) & descended into the darkness of downstairs to start the day on their own. I don't know what they did this morning, but I ran down in cold sweat to lots of open drawers, a nappy on the stairs, a dog wee on the floor that resembled lake superior from space & 2 children under a sofa laughing hysterically while eating dry cheerios. I guess they enjoyed their independence but now I'm terrified for tomorrow morning. Fyi if you don't know what ceefax is, then we can no longer be friends as you're too young. #independentgirls #unsupervised #badparenting #twins #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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His account is full of useful tips on parenting, too, though. Like this one, that deals with some potty-training accidents. 

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Yes,ottie & Delilah now live in the Dirty clothes basket. Why? Because from the waist down, their clothes are all ruined & this saves time. Despite a couple of good months of potty training, we've taking some massive leaps backwards recently & we're back to start. In fact we've gone so far back, we're dealing with more soiled underwear than an industrial sized incontinence testing facility and it feels (and smells) like we're failing. In my opinion, There seems to only be 3 options available: , 1). Leave them to live out the rest of their days in the Dirty clothes basket , 2). Double down on our efforts to nail this toilet malarkey or 3).Hope that the fashion houses decide to adopt varying shades of excrement into their spring summer collections so we don't have to get rid of so many dyed articles of clothing. High street retailers, if you're listening, forget pastel – 'shades of Ass' is what your next look book should feature – it's what parents want and need! #shadesofass #dyedclothing #unsavable #1stepforwards2stepsback #pottytraining #failing #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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And also parenting advice that has nothing to do with kids, except hiding from them. 

Which is very important. 

Actually, he’s not technically the only male in their house—there’s Pablo, their adorable dog. 

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So it turns out that 1). man's best friend is in fact woman's best friend and 2). Dog's are basically like a foreign exchange student who's so good looking that they have you questioning your own sexually. Despite only taking up lodgings with us a month ago, weighing at a mere fraction of my size & lacking the linguistic skills to communicate in English, Pablo has all 5 women in my life completely under his control as they bend over backwards to please his every desire – will they spoon out dog food for him that makes them gag? – yes. Will they pick up a solidarity towel for me? – Hell no! I can't compete. But when the funs over with, who's left holding the shit in thin flimsy paper towel? You guessed it – good old daddy. It's like school French exchange all over again!(minus the shit). I'm strongly considering dressing up as a dog just to see if I get listened to as apparently my human form just ain't cutting it anymore. Mind you, with a face like this (see pic 2), I can understand how he manipulates grown adults so easily! #dogsuitanyone #dogexchangestudent #pablovalentine #mansbestfriend #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #twins

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Life in the Hooper household can sometimes seem a little out of control. 

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No, this is not an art installation of man made clouds inside a room or a flock of oddly shaped migrating birds hovering over my girls, it is infact packing paper. Not content with enough boxes to use one box a day to create imaginary castles, race cars, caves and coffins (Anya was very morbid today) for an entire year, they have created a soft play out of this mini rainforest worth of packaging. Today was my first official day back at work so you can imagine how well that went when this unlicenced rave was going on next door. "Yes david, I can see your screen, so thats the revenue projections for this quarter? Hold on a second….would you lot please try and keep the noise level below riot level in here, I'm in the next room??!! ….sorry David, the neighbours in my new place are ferrel and keep asking for food". #workingfromhome #softplayinmyhouse #unpacking #worstneighboursever #conferencecallfromhell #fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad

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Four is a lot of kids for anyone to take care of. 

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Sometimes the best laid plans end the same way as a lovingly prepared dinner that's promptly discarded by kids that only eat the colour yellow – in the bin. Having been very selfish & overloaded on fun by visiting the tip twice before 10am, I had planned to take all 4 girls to the heated plastic covered warehouse of farts and foot odor, otherwise known as softplay, while Clemmie when antiques shopping, however after having been dropped off by my wife who left in a cloud of tyre smoke, we arrived to find some inconsiderate kid had decided to celebrate their birthday, making the door policy to get in tighter than a private members club for people with names beginning only with the letter X. For the next 90 minutes, I was forced spend the mortgage on snacks from the cafe to muffle their screaming & then followed my children around to limit their efforts at shop lifting from toys shelves. I just love it when plans fall apart – And the day had started so promisingly! #thebestlaidplans #fartwarehouse #cafesareexpensive #tiptripforthewin #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod #softplayfail #meandmygirls

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In an interview in 2016, Hooper explained: 

“Quite simply put, our house is loud and chaotic. We have 4 girls, Anya (9), Marnie (6), and just to mix it up, identical twins Delilah and Ottilie (8 months). It’s a fairly full-on experience that starts at 6.30am and ends at 9pm which gives my wife, Clemmie, and I about 90 minutes in the evening to actually just be us and crumple onto the sofa.”

There are bound to be tantrums. 

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Just so we're clear, this isn't an ad!! This evening I successfully picked up all 4 girls & completed an emergency shop on the way home. With my arms laden with life admin essentials, everyone disembarked from the car & bounded off towards the house, arguing over who could scream the loudest. Every that is apart from Ottie, who instead decided to do her best impression of discarded flavourless chewing gum & welded herself to the pavement. A 2 minute silent stand ensued during which time 3 people walked passed this small human obstacle & tried to help encourage her to give up on horizontal protest / cloud gazing session, yet she proved to be tougher to shift than lipstick from a carpet (and that's tough, believe me). I honestly couldn't tell you why this all started, but it finished with her getting up, starring at me with death ray eyes that went straight through heart and walked off as if I was nothing had happened. I've been in meetings where I wished I'd employed this tactic. Oh to be 2 again. #toddlerstandoff #bemoreottie #gumimpressionisonpoint #noidea #parenting #Fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad #twins

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But clearly the family is filled with so much love. 

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Here's to all the father's out there. To the new dads and the ones with a few more wrinkles. To the ones who act as human climbing frames, that fix broken things, that know all the lines to kids TV and that eat all the kids left over food. To the dads who stay at home, to the ones that work and to the ones that don't, to the fathers who are a shoulder to cry on, not someone to cry about. To father's that do night feeds, clear up sick and get on with life without making a drama. That stand in the middle of arguments instead of start them, that hide in the toilet to get alone time, that hold hands and give bear hugs that are accompanied a good dose of beard rash. To the fathers that tell terrible jokes & a constant embarrassment to their offspring but make life fun, that smile and know that that they are doing their best for the ones they love and to every other type of father there is out there. To father's everywhere – Happy father's Day. If yours was half as good as mine, it must have been a belter. #fathersday #mygirls #spoilt #Fatherofdaughters #dadlife #indstdad #fod #dadsareawesome

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The account is bound to get funnier as the girls get older. It’s a win-win for everyone—the Hoopers get to enjoy this love-filled life and we, the Instagram fans, get to watch it. 

h/t: Instagram: @father_of_daughters, Instagram: @mother_of_daughters, Someecards