Each week we sift through thousands of funny tweets to bring you the best of the best.
Sure, we might’ve been a little drunk while doing so, but these jokes are just as hilarious in the sober light of day.
So, kick back and enjoy some truly amazing Twitter finds from this weekend.
In 1998 I *begged* my mom to buy me JNCO jeans.
She agreed, but only on the condition we do a photoshoot to prove to my future self how stupid I looked.
Look who’s laughing now, mom. pic.twitter.com/guTjRSk31N
— Zach Kornfeld (@korndiddy) December 7, 2018
— meg cramer (@Meg_Cramer) December 8, 2018
So I sent a Google survey to everyone who's ghosted me in the last six months pic.twitter.com/7hf66t7ssX
— ｊａｚ ｓｕｆｉ (@calamityjaz) December 2, 2018
At my funeral I won’t need a coffin. I will be cremated from the neck down and my head will be on a stick. If you want to say anything about me you have to hold my head stick
— jake (@rankin_jake) December 8, 2018
My sister is in a sorority & honestly if I see one more post of how much she loves her “big” ok IM YOUR ACTUAL BIG SISTER SORRY I DONT WRITE U LITTLE NOTES ABOUT HOW YOU FELL FROM A RAINBOW & SPROUTED INTO A TULIP BUT I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WEAR A TAMPON have some respect
— jaleigh (@jaleighavery7) December 7, 2018
thanks a lot, mike pic.twitter.com/ls0PLTm3BM
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) December 5, 2018
find the android user:
can’t find them?
that’s because they live among us, looking like normal people. the only real difference is that .
— ariana misses the hollow ✨ (@spinnerellas) December 5, 2018
There’s a coyote outside. You know what that means: coyote vest time! pic.twitter.com/Pj164giawL
— Amina Akhtar (@Drrramina) December 3, 2018
Just a 4 year old casually ordering his kids meal from Burger King pic.twitter.com/zi71dLOdrr
— Dianny (@xo_dianny) December 7, 2018
One of my blinds broke in my bedroom so I just went to CVS pic.twitter.com/0QghmXKZ7R
— andrew (@andrewnolan2) December 5, 2018