Oh, Twitter, you cruel mistress. You tempt us with your steady flow of entertainment, in the form of news and jokes.
At any hour, any place, we check you, looking to fill something empty inside us. We’re addicted to you despite the fact that you spew so much garbage. All we ask in return is that every so often, you give us something good.
Please give us something that will truly make us laugh. That good content that we crave.
Show us people who are all, in their own ways, real legends.
Let people have who’ve earned it have their 15 minutes of viral fame.
Please continue to give us tweets like these, that make us laugh and truly remind of us of our humanity, as sappy as that sounds.
Give us this and we will gladly pledge our allegiance to you for another year.
1. People like this guy, who clearly wins the award for Most Uncle Ever.
No your uncle isn’t more uncle than my uncle pic.twitter.com/4EW25RxOSK
— Joel D. Anderson (@byjoelanderson) November 24, 2018
What exactly is it about this guy that makes him so “uncle”? It’s hard to pinpoint, but it’s some combination of the brown shoes and the black socks and the jeans, some perfect amalgamation that just sums up “uncle.”
2. And this woman who dared stake claim to her name on Facebook, even though it seems like a fairly common name and clearly other people have it.
The best part is that the older Maureen Johnson claims that “age trumps beauty.” Fair enough. She’s earned that damn name. NO SHARING.
3. This dude at a show, who thinks he’s filming but really just has his calculator out.
— j (@jesssytxx) November 11, 2018
Slow clap, dude. Well-played.
4. This man, who realized a little too late how his sweater would look with just part of it showing.
didn’t consider how this sweater would look with a jacket pic.twitter.com/1WYm763GKt
— Adam Moussa (@adamjmoussa) November 16, 2018
It’s not the kind of thing I would remember to even consider when shopping—how will this look with a jacket? But in this case, it’s really pretty perfect.
5. This girl, who honestly thought we lived inside the Earth. Yes. Inside.
just in case you’re having a bad day, enjoy this video of my sister realizing that we don’t live inside the earth 💀 pic.twitter.com/oVYjFOH559
— SydSyd (@LoveMahalHappy) November 15, 2018
This whole family is a) adorable and hilarious, and b) really needs some science lessons.
6. This ice skater, who just eats it so hard. So, so hard. Absolutely flat out. Just…wow.
I went ice skating yesterday and … pic.twitter.com/ahZXmHWLX0
— zeus (@zeussanchezz) November 24, 2018
He is truly a legend now. Is he okay, by the way?
7. Sweet, sweet Emma, who somehow doesn’t know how to dab, but gives it her all anyway.
happy holidays only to emma from teen jeopardy who didn’t know how to dab pic.twitter.com/0mSt9D5taS
— Rachel Taenzler (@racheltaenzler) November 25, 2018
Cheers to Emma, for really just being enthusiastic.
8. This hero, who wasn’t afraid to say what we’re all thinking.
when your ex’s mom text you for the holidays pic.twitter.com/uCjo5gtiW3
— stüss the holiday goose🎄✨ (@StussyTheGoat) November 21, 2018
Is this real? Who even knows. What matter is, you know you want to send that text next time you hear from the mom of the ex who you dated for years and gave your best to and who dumped you anyway. What? No, that didn’t happen to me, I was talking about someone else.
9. This child, who even at such a young age went the extra mile for someone else.
Shoutout to the anonymous 6th grader for saving me a couple thousand (Bus not drawn to scale) pic.twitter.com/7aNK10xSwX
— Andrew Sipowicz (@Andrew_Sipowicz) November 20, 2018
Whoever raised this child is doing an excellent job.
10. This wonderful boyfriend, who loves his lady but wanted her to know the truth.
I’m in the library and there’s a bf helping his gf study and I’ve been overhearing parts of their conversation for the last hour and he just said “Babe, I’m gonna be honest with you. You’re going to fail this test, I love you, but there’s nothing we can do about it now” I’m dead
— Sam McNeil (@_ssamm) October 30, 2018
This is a person you can trust.