Masha
A tweet by user @corihealey is going viral, and for good reason. Not only is it a lesson in relationship red flags, it’s also one in how not to cook a chicken. Mainly, don’t not season it. Or, go at least one step further than just throwing some breasts straight from the packaging onto a baking pan, no parchment paper or aluminum foil or nothing.
It’s offensive, is what it is. And the Baltimore resident decided to share her woes with all of Twitter by tweeting out the following picture, and captioning it “Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me.”
Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me pic.twitter.com/R72oHmAf3G
— Esmarelda Fitzmonster (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
I am DISTRAUGHT pic.twitter.com/NHh7DI7A3S
— Esmarelda Fitzmonster (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Why yes, of course Twitter did! Getting upset about other people’s life choices is what the platform is best at (though in this case, it’s deserved).
The Atlantic staff writer—yes, a real journalist—Jemele Hill advocated for immediate deportation.
No offense, but your boyfriend’s roommate gotta be deported IMME-JUT-LY. https://t.co/bQwPnCfnSr
— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) January 8, 2019
People expressed legitimate sadness at this wasted poultry life.
https://twitter.com/Shower_Capy/status/1082483012770689024
https://twitter.com/Adam_Jacobi/status/1082675223793680384
https://twitter.com/TorreySmithWR/status/1082449550479118336
Some couldn’t even stand to look at it any longer.
Delete this please https://t.co/uTJdsQEBxu
— luka sabbat (@whoisluka) January 8, 2019
“Is this even legal?” we wondered.
https://twitter.com/EscoBlades/status/1082586367622897665
This is pre-crime https://t.co/HanO6WXSRl
— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) January 8, 2019
The concern was palpable.
https://twitter.com/TheKalenAllen/status/1082488015740497920
As was the discomfort:
This is making me physically uncomfortable for multiple reasons https://t.co/v5qVihQFes
— Luka (@whatsgooddiablo) January 8, 2019
And the confusion.
I’m almost impressed that it looks both cooked AND raw somehow
— I Guan Yu to Guant Me (@KhoiTus) January 8, 2019
I thought these were sea conches. https://t.co/osr4ZfNowL
— The Aquarius B.I.G. (@user694201111) January 8, 2019
Y’all might as well had just cooked some water and threw in on a plate https://t.co/RTJyM1qWzW
— Casey Lawrence (@LeanandCuisine) January 8, 2019
Dictionary.com Twitter chimed in with some customary sass:
Chicken out. To refrain from doing something because of fear or cowardice.
See also: What one might do when presented with the following. https://t.co/SdC1BfdtUU https://t.co/EO0zVZdu8Y
— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) January 8, 2019
No, you’re not the only one. I too am highly upset over this fact.
https://twitter.com/Justise_n_Jorty/status/1082680758232403968
https://twitter.com/CaolicolorArt/status/1082550131587608576
VERY, VERY UPSET.
This isn’t a “lack of seasoning,” it’s a damn absence of seasoning. Also who puts chicken DIRECTLY on a baking sheet?! Where’s the foil?! https://t.co/CQkj7l6PcR
— Rahul Lal (@rlal95) January 8, 2019
People who cook straight on the pan with no foil are serial killers https://t.co/MCjGwNpbuH
— Keely (@keelynstl) January 8, 2019
Unlike the chicken, the burns on this failed “dish” were endless and creative.
— BonAppéDee | Hi I’m Dee | (@BonAppeDee) January 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/disco_socialist/status/1082462508756099072
That chicken’s ring tone is “Sweet Caroline”
— JD Cannon (@JamaulCannon) January 8, 2019
This chicken just asked for the manager https://t.co/PuhfK4hRbb
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) January 8, 2019
Y’all remember Rufus from Kim Possible?…yeah https://t.co/godwUn2pv3
— Ju. (@itsjuachi) January 8, 2019
i just sprinkled chopped sage on my laptop screen. https://t.co/di78Cjw8Jp
— zeddy (@Zeddary) January 8, 2019
this chicken wants you to know it has a black friend and it voted for obama https://t.co/udb3B6fpXy
— . (@swordsjew) January 8, 2019
this chicken's thoughts on the president were just featured in the New York Times https://t.co/dSS0ATcGd6
— maura quint (@behindyourback) January 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/itsonlyaubrey/status/1082492501158576135
The world may be trash, but at least we have tweet replies like this to keep us going. More of this in 2019, please!
