Dean
21.
Ever had a dream with someone in it who didn't quite make sense? They were in your life, but not on a dream level? Like, I don't know why I'm drowning in this car submerged in a lake, but I especially don't know why I'm doing it with you, girl from my junior year sociology class.
— GL (@gldivittorio) October 6, 2018
22.
I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again", unreal
— Josh (@LoserCrew) September 10, 2018
23.
dude imagine being a bug and accidentally getting stuck in a car and driving far af away from everything you know
— Jayleez (@Jayleezya) October 10, 2018
24.
It’s impossible to buy a mirror that isn’t used
— Boog (@bewgtweets) September 28, 2018
25.
triscuits are the perfect snack for anyone who has ever wanted to eat wicker furniture
— duke of girl (@sh_wnee) September 12, 2018
26.
— Perc Angle 💊 (@iamhollywoodE) December 17, 2019
27.
“you smoked your whole pregnancy & wonder why your child 4 years old and still not talking”
then someone quoted it and said “maybe he just ain’t got nothing to say” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/I0CBJLYZv6
— ry ♡ (@bby__ryan) December 19, 2019
28.
slashed someone’s tires today because he parked like a jackass.. was it justified? I think so. pic.twitter.com/91g0Vb8km1
— Matt Wille (@herbehancock) December 8, 2018
29.
[inventing the toaster]
engineer: Ok it burns the bread if you put it at 4
chief engineer: perfect. Make it go up to 8
— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) November 26, 2018
30.
“a pregnant virgin I can believe but three wise men??” kills me every single time https://t.co/zBB74qr7kK
— JC (@Jayy3B) December 16, 2019
