Dean
20.
*Wakes up*
Ugh my head. What did I do last night?
*flash back to me going to sleep*
Hell yeah— dead acct (@DillDoes) November 21, 2014
21.
A scientist observing me over the past 3 decades would conclude I’ve yet to see there’s any correlation between being tired & getting sleep.
— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 12, 2015
22.
Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say “well, she was always kind of like this.”
— slaughthie (@slaughthie) January 30, 2015
23.
Me: “I’ll do anything to cure my insomnia.”
Expert: “Limit caffeine or alcohol or screen time.”
Me: “I shall forever suffer in the cruel, incurable grasp of insomnia.”— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 6, 2018
24.
If we ALL go back to bed, there’s nothing they can do.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) November 4, 2013
