We regret to inform you that the straights are at it again. When they’re not burning down the West Coast with gender reveal parties, they’re forcing all of us to think about how much they have sex without a condom in order to bring more life to the planet. Any pregnancy announcement implies that two people have had sex, but things are getting a little too explicit in Straightville.
Comedian @dylaneatswings posted a very unfortunate t-shirt pairing that will haunt me forever on Twitter. It’s meant to worn by a couple where the woman is pregnant and the man is present. The woman’s shirt reads, “I’m so stuffed with a little turkey,” and the man’s shirt reads, “I made the stuffing.” You see, the stuffing is ejaculate.
“I hate these can u imagine if gay people invited their family over for a party so they could wear shirts that said ‘the cum came from HERE and went THERE!’ my family would never speak to me again,” Dylan wrote.
I hate these can u imagine if gay people invited their family over for a party so they could wear shirts that said “the cum came from HERE and went THERE!” my family would never speak to me again pic.twitter.com/PRvKQc5AQr
— dylan (@dylaneatswings) November 23, 2020
The pictures brought up memories for people in the replies because there are a lot of shockingly explicit birth announcements out there.
It’s not a pair of adorable shirts, but my fav announcment pic is similarly delightful 😑 pic.twitter.com/XjKRZPbRWe
— #GetFree (@daneyvilla) November 23, 2020
But soon the real thing wasn’t good enough, and people started memeing the shirt to make it worse and worse. Sometimes exposing the truth about straight people traditions hurts us all:
1.
Imagining three people in shirts like these where they say
"I made a creampie"
"I ate the cream"
"I'm the pie pan" pic.twitter.com/Y9ERrHWPHW— j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster) November 23, 2020
2.
— TGB (@twitersbadboy) November 23, 2020
3.
I’m so so sorry everyone. pic.twitter.com/Wme8y3jrEt
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) November 23, 2020
4.
how it started vs. how it’s going pic.twitter.com/6dilOhIziy
— lowercase tweets only (@aholebhole) November 23, 2020
5.
I’m putting this on Redbubble and I hope to make as many family gatherings as awkward as humanly possible. I hope I have your blessing. pic.twitter.com/x5uoxcnZhs
— Fresh! By Flitt @BLM (@Flitterfel) November 24, 2020
6.
I made it into a gross meme for you 😝 pic.twitter.com/mFVzJpTXkk
— Daniel Aegan 🩸 (@Daniel_Aegan) November 23, 2020
7.
Am I too late to add to the fire from an image I stole pic.twitter.com/eDgB6kyru0
— Bob Dole, President (@Tazaraki) November 24, 2020
8.
Straight people: I'm tired of homosexuality being shoved down our throats! Why is everything gay now?
Also straight people: Let's wear our matching "he came in me" shirts for the family photo. pic.twitter.com/nJY877yxfp
— PlasticMan (@Almondrobopanda) November 23, 2020
9.
woah wait wtf pic.twitter.com/1h75jxF77T
— my name is josh (@noshjasser) November 24, 2020
10.
*visits the in laws* hey what's up in laws, just been blasting your daughters insides with as much cum as my body can produce on the daily pic.twitter.com/0ZBcSwLqOQ
— Catherine, Vampiric Tradwife (@NewBeamu) November 23, 2020