Patricia Grisafi
One of the best things about kids is that they haven’t yet developed a filter and they aren’t particularly malicious.
So, kids just announce things very matter-of-factly. Some of those things they announce? Well, they can be super embarrassing.
On Reddit, people are sharing the worst ways they’ve been humiliated by a child.
And you just have to laugh because chances are they weren’t even trying to embarrass anyone—just spilling out what random, weird stuff passes through their developing brains.
1.
“I was bagging a lady’s groceries and her kid asked me, ‘why are you so fat?’ My brilliant comeback was, ‘why are you so short?’ To which he replied, ‘I’m not short, I’m 5.'” — amberdowny
2.
“When my son was six, walking through LAX and he’s complaining that I wouldn’t get him donuts (running late for our flight). I’m holding his hand and walking along and all of a sudden he stops and starts screaming…’STOP IT I DON’T KNOW YOU! SOMEBODY HELP ME I DON’T KNOW THIS MAN!’ I’m snarling at him under my breath ‘dude you gotta stop that right now you can’t say that shit, that’s not funny.’ But oh no he keeps it up until the cops show up…Missed flight…everyone staring like I was some piece of shit trying to kidnap an innocent kid. Did not get him donuts.” — PaleontologistINtree
3.
“I don’t remember this story but my mom tells it all the time. When I was five my mom took me into the stall in the women’s rest room because she had to go. She had been in there awhile and the bathroom had been crowded so she asked me, ‘MindfulMuser, can you take a look and see if there is a big line out there?’ I excitedly screamed, ‘A LION?!?’ And flung the stall door open. There was a big line.” — MindfulMuser
4.
“I’m a preschool teacher, we were on the outside playground and it was a hot day. A kid fell off the swing-set so I rush over to check on him. He’s full on sobbing, leans against my body then pulls away suddenly yelling, ‘Eew! I don’t like the smell of you!’ I couldn’t even laugh it off.” — Beign_yay
5.
“Took my 4 year old swimming. At the completion I took him to the men’s locker and getting into dry clothes. Amidst dressing he says loud enough for all to hear, ‘I love your penis, Dad.'” — SurlyJason
6.
“My little sister is ten years younger than me. When we were maybe 5 and 15 or so respectively, we were walking through a restaurant parking lot when a big group of bikers exited to their bikes. These guys had the leather get-up, the bandanas on their heads, chains, the works. My sister pointed to them and exclaimed, ‘LOOK, PIRATES!’ They didn’t think it was funny.” — breadmeupscotty
7.
“My wife was out with my 2yo daughter who pointed at a lady wearing a traditional Indian dress and stated ‘piss-ed.’ The lady probably heard ‘piss-head,’ but what daughter was trying to pronounce was ‘princess.'” — finiteresource
8.
“My child was 3 while we were waiting in a doctor’s office. An exquisitely dressed elderly woman was sitting next to us and started talking to my son. Kid is fascinated by all the sparkly jewels and such, and says, ‘I love your shiny necklace, and your pretty earrings…and your yellow teeth.'” — EhlersDanlosSucks
9.
“I had some people over and my 4 year old nephew starts shouting, ‘is anyone here afraid of spiders?’ Once he had everyone’s attention, he told us all that if anyone was afraid of spiders they needed to leave because he found cobwebs, and cobwebs mean spiders. He then proceeded to point out every single cobweb in the house to our guests.” — copycatcactus
10.
“When my sister was 9 she shouted ‘white power’ while waiting in line at Dorney Park. We are Hispanic.” — MagalyHoldman
