Ruin My Week
21.
When Bea was 3:
3yo: I love u the mostest.
Me: I love u my tiniest baby.
3yo: I love u my oldest Mommy. My fossil Mom. You are a fossil.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) October 24, 2016
22.
“How’s that soup Daddy made?”
7yo: “It tastes like broccoli punching me in the face.” #brutallyhonest— Jessica L (@JessLint) November 26, 2016
23.
4: What did I earn for being good today?
Me: My love and affection.
4: [cries] I don’t want that!— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) May 1, 2016
24.
“Mom, you were my best friend until I actually got friends” #shitmykidsays 😒
— Bobeli (@MichelleBobeli) February 13, 2015
25.
Me: “Did you realize I’m the best dad in the house?”
My 13 yr-old: “Yeah, but you’re also the worst dad in the house.”
— Stuff My Kids Say (@StuffMyKidsSay3) May 7, 2017
26.
Me: “How many kisses do you need from me?”
3yo: “Probably just zero.”— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 16, 2015
27.
3YO son: “Why are you 45?”
Me: “Because that’s just how old I am.”
3YO: “Is that the last number? Because that’s a lot.”
— Mike Hogan (@MHoganSays) November 21, 2016
28.
best part of working from home is having your 5y/o run in while you’re on a conference call and cry “I accidentally peed in the wrong place”
— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 9, 2017
29.
Me: I think I ate too much.
4yo: Yeah, but not just today.— Aaron Aryanpur (@aaroncomedian) November 26, 2016
30.
I lead the after-school drama club at my kid’s school. A 1st gr said, “Can you teach me how to act like I’m listening when my dad talks?”
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 1, 2016
