Kate Hackett
Good day, good pals!
It’s time for another AITA post from the grand ol’ Am I The Assh*le subreddit.
This time, we have a question from u/ThrowRA9876234, who wants to know if she’s a jerk for not splitting expenses with a guy who makes way more than she does.
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And if you were wondering to yourself: gosh, is there a wild age gap between these two people, you know that answer is yes. Wildly yes.
Here’s what she says:
My (22F) boyfriend (32M) wants me to move in with him and pay half of all our expenses.
We’re off to a GREAT START.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. We are both currently in the same city but living separately. I am graduating from college in a few weeks and am planning to start applying for graduate schools. Currently I do not have any employment nor do I plan on making any money in the next few years. Luckily my family is able to support me through graduate school and pay my expenses.
So this young lady, who is in an entirely different place in her life, is dating someone who will be making 500k a year. She just graduated from college, she doesn’t have that kind of cash!
My boyfriend currently makes around $300k/ year and just received a job offer in a city across the country that would pay him over $500k/ year after bonuses. He wants me to move with him to this new city. I am fine with the idea of moving there, even though it is not my first choice of places to live. I could probably attend graduate school there.
She explains that he’s moving for work and wants her to come along and move in with him, but he wants her to pay half of everything. $2500 a month. For a college student.
The only issue is he wants me to pay half the rent and half of all our expenses. This would amount to around $2500/ month. My family is capable of providing me with this money, but we are not exorbitantly wealthy so it is a lot of money for us. My family also thinks it is really unreasonable for my boyfriend to ask me to pay these expenses when he makes enough money to support the both of us easily. My boyfriend thinks it is completely reasonable for my family to pay these expenses for me.
Do you think what my boyfriend is asking for is reasonable or not?
OP’s family (and she) thinks this is ridiculous and took it to Reddit for a verdict.
UPDATE:
Thanks for all the replies everyone. The one thing I left out of the original post is that I already decided prior to making the post that I was not going to stay with my bf because it was obvious our views on finances were simply incompatible. I also know my worth and know that I can find someone who treats me a lot better.
I was curious to see what others thought, and I am pleased that most of you have validated my feelings.
She also notes that she could see issues in the future and was planning on leaving him anyway. Good for her!
After I told my bf that I was breaking up with him, he completely changed his tune and said that he did not want me to pay expenses and that he would actually pay me a monthly allowance to live with him. By that point it was too late to fix things, however, and I decided that we should go our separate ways.
And it ends beautifully. Well done, OP. Let’s check out what Reddit said.
