“AITA for calling my husband delusional for demanding I give him 50% profit of my business that he didn’t support?”
The OP says her husband works as a clerk at a bank and she has a job she does from home, but does not enjoy because she prefers being active and outside. She knows a lot about gardening and decided to start growing flowers because they have a big backyard. She’s been selling them online in bouquets.
“When I brought this up with my husband he said this was the worst idea ever, adding this would be major waste of time and money and suggested I look for a 2nd job,” she said. But the OP didn’t listen and in about a year and a half the garden started making some money. Her husband checked her finances and was apparently impressed.
The other day he was standing with his drink while I was checking my flowers. He talked about what a good job I was doing keeping “our” business “flowing”. I corrected him about it being our business and reminded him about how little faith he had in my potential to make decent money out of growing, selling cut flowers. He was like “Well…I didn’t honestly think your little gardening hobby was going to get anywhere but now that business is “flourishing” I want my fair share of profit and won’t settle for less than 50%”
I was puzzled I asked why he thought he should get any share of profit let alone 50%. His answer was that I was using his soil to grow my flowers on.
I said this is our house/our soil not just his since we’re married and both our names are on the title. He was like “actually I owned this house long before you came along so it’s technically mine!” I replied that he must be aware it’ll be split in half in case of seperation. He laughed and joked about how silly I was for “hinting” seperation just because he was asking for something that he so richly deserves which is 50% of the profit. I said no and that he was delusional to ask cause even his soil alone doesn’t magically grow my flowers there’s a lot of work to it from picking, buying seeds, taking time, effort to care for them. Collecting, triming, and selling them while all he does is sit back.
I said it didn’t matter to him when I started using “his soil” why now? He said it always matters when money is involved!. We had an argument about it and he apologized BUT ONLY for approaching the subject rudely but still wants 50%. He’s been silent about it since after stating that he already said what he needed to say and I needed to make the right decision.
Well, first of all, good for OP, because usually by the time people come to this subreddit, they’ve already handed the money over. He does not deserve any of her flower money. She added that they each contribute equally to expenses but keep their finances separate—which is her husband’s idea, because he’s been divorced.
Commenters were horrified on her behalf and many of them felt that this was a divorce-worthy situation. Protect your flowers with legal advice.
“NTA and I really hope you’re consulting a divorce lawyer,” wrote minenangel. “Your husband just showed his true colors and the picture isn’t pretty at all. Leave his sorry ass to rot on “his” soil and plant a new garden somewhere else without an entitled burden.”
There was some concern that he would be able to claim her business in a divorce, though it ultimately varies by state and by how her records have been kept. Some recommended she uproot her business and start planting somewhere else, ASAP.
While they all advised her to stick to her guns, they also warned that her husband seems pretty toxic, so watch your daisys.
“If hubby is as vindictive as he is greedy, you may need to install some security cameras, just to make sure nobody tampers with your product,” advised redheadjd. “He may decide if he can’t profit, you can’t either, and spray poison all over your lovely business. I’m sorry that I even think this way, but … reasons.”
And alleged tax accountant godmama1313 gave advice we should all heed if we are starting a small business:
Get Quickbooks and a completely separate flower business bank account with debit card attached NOW. Pay every single expense out of that account. Deposit every sale amount into that account. Then as I suggested elsewhere, transfer funds as a weekly paycheck to your private bank account for at least $20/hour as a laborer. I’m a tax person. Trust me. That will give you an exact idea of how much you are really making after all is said and done. It also will reflect a much low profit to which your husband thinks he’s entitled. He likely did quick math and left out tons of expenses, as well as your hourly laborer pay. Stop paying for more than half of anything in the household or marriage . Just stop. He wants 50% of the profits? You don’t cover more than 50% of mutual expenses. Not a dime. Count down to the penny. It’s time.
Wow. I need to rearrange my own life.
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