Patricia Grisafi
If you have an unusual or eccentric name, you might come up against problems in work or at school.
Unfortunately, a lot of people cannot be bothered to learn names that are not familiar to them—or else they’re immature and make fun of names that are ethnic or creative.
One Redditor’s parents named her after a historical figure, which is now causing her difficulty at work.
It seems like a woman at work has arbitrarily decided what the OP should be called, and now the OP is trying to figure out how far she should push to simply be addressed by her proper name in the workplace.
“I (23F) have eccentric parents. I’m named after a historical figure, their title + their first name. I’m going to say here that my name is ‘Lady Jane.’ After being embarrassed by this name all my life, I’ve grown to sort of love it. Not that many people will understand that, which I guess is fine,” the OP writes.
“Anyway, at work, everyone decided Lady Jane is ridiculous and they would call me ‘Jane.’ But there’s another girl at work named Jane. I told them to call me by my proper name (or just Lady). They wouldn’t do that, so they started calling me by my last name, which is unpronounceable to anyone who isn’t Polish. I’ve heard so many variants (none being right) and I’m sick of them.”
“This has basically all been decided by this woman, Greta. I told Greta to tell everyone else to either call me 1) Lady Jane or 2) Lady, and she told me I’m being way too aggressive about a minor issue they’ve already solved. It may be solved to her, but I don’t like hearing my last name butchered. She said my first name is ‘too funny’ for the workplace, and to stop any jokes, I should keep being called by my last name. I said if I don’t get referred to by my proper name, I simply won’t respond. She said that’s unprofessional, which it admittedly is.”
What do Redditors think?
“A person’s name is their identity and if people cannot get it right, then they can’t respond. It isn’t like they have come up with a valid solution either. Using a last name, that they cannot pronounce correctly, means that no one in the entire company calling OP by their correct name at all. Why is the other woman called Jane and not her last name? Why isn’t Greta called by her last name? And everyone else? People need to consider the source as well. In the Philippine culture, just one more example, people are named Princess, Lovely, Honey Apple, King, Prince, Gospel, Mercy, Angel, etc, etc. People need to grow up and realize that names are important and to be respected. Just because people don’t like or understand or appreciate it, it does not mean that they get to rename you. She should take it up with management. The disrespect is incredible,” said tphatmcgee.
“There’s a common nickname for my name which I do not like and have never gone by, but a lot of people assume and use it. If I correct them several times and they still use it, I stop responding to them. At work when called that by someone, I nicely told them that I didn’t like the nickname and to call me by my name, they laughed and said they’d call me what they want. So I stopped responding to them when they addressed me incorrectly. It took quite a while, but they got the point,” said madnessfromthesea.
“NTA and if your wish is not respected, report them to HR. This is offensive on many levels, and you have standing to sue. Your name is your name, and other people don’t get to change it to convenience themselves. This problem has already been experienced by many POC and other ethnicities, and you will find case law addressing it. And as for unprofessional, THEY are being unprofessional. Your name is Lady Jane; not Jane, not Susan, not Girl, not Wis’niewski; Lady Jane, just like Mary Ann, or Sue Ellen,” noted perkyblondechick.
“This is a discourtesy at best and disrespect at worse. If Greta is arbitrarily deciding what the whole office should call you then Greta is potentially creating a hostile work environment. My company provides a ‘preferred name’ field for a reason and she would be well outside of policy here,” said ifitsmellslikeone.
“I see this an no different to someone purposely butchering your name. Your name is your name. No matter how ridiculous. Personally, I would take it up with HR if she continues. She reminds me of every racist person who is willing to learn how to pronounce Siobhan, and Niamh but not how to pronounce easy ethnic names such as Abdullah and Kwame so try to force nicknames like Abz etc.,” pointed out GuiltyPick.
Featured Image: Pexels
