Guy Asks If He’s A Jerk For Buying His Fiancée A Lab-Grown Diamond And Refusing To Exchange It

Not to be “that guy/girl” but did you know diamonds are basically just a big scam?

Of course, you did. But in case not, here’s a pretty funny take on it.


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Personally, I wouldn’t want anything other than a responsibly sourced, lab-grown diamond so this story is already a big NOPE, NTA from me!

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But hey: different strokes, you know?

One would hope that a fiance-to-be would have a conversation about the kind of ring, the size, the type of stone, etc. just to make sure everyone is on the same page…

Evidently, that’s not how it went for u/throwaway1578650, who popped on Reddit to ask: Am I An Assh*le over a ring-related question.

Here goes:

Throwaway account, for reasons. I (30m) proposed to my (then) girlfriend (27f) of 5 years last month, it was wonderful and she said yes, and we were never happier.

Yay! OP proposed! Clear sailing, right?!

Last week was when the trouble started, as she asked me how much I had spent on her ring. I told her that I had spent about $20,000 on it that I had been squirrling away for the last 10 years.

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Okay so this isn’t the GF’s problem but HOLY SHIT TWENTY THOUSAND? That’d be my problem.

(When I first started saving I was planning on building a kit car but when I started seriously considering proposing I decided it was worth spending the money on the ring.) She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone (3.6 karats.) for the price, and asked to see the diamond certificate I got with the ring.

Apparently this sucker was so huge that the GF thought there was no way OP bought a real diamond on “only” $20k (kill me). So OP shows her the certificate and…

I, of course, showed it to her (I thought she was worried I had been duped into buying a fake.) and when she saw it was lab grown she got upset that I hadn’t bought her a “real” diamond. This reaction stunned me for a couple reasons. Firstly, I had always been open in my distaste for the natural diamond industry, and secondly because I had employed the assistance of her friends and mother and everyone agreed that she wouldn’t care if the diamond was lab grown.

The girlfriend is upset that she didn’t get a “real” (??) diamond. It’s real, lady, calm down, Jesus.

Over the last week I have explaned to her multiple times my reasons for going lab grown, (It is better for the environment, I know the exact origing of the stone, so I know it isn’t a conflict stone, and ultimately it is better value for the money and I wanted to get her the most beautiful ring possible.) and that lab grown diamonds are in every way real diamonds and that they are also indistinguishable from natural ones unless you look at their certificate. I have also pointed out that she had no clue and would have never known if I hadn’t told her the price of her ring. But she insists that she can tell a difference and it is just not the same.

OP defended himself with all the facts and yet… This lunatic he proposed to insisted that it wasn’t real. “It’s not the same!” …why? because a child didn’t have his legs blown off for it? You’ve lost me, GF, and I hate you.

Yesterday she asked me if I would be willing to exchange it for a natural stone of equivalent value. Normally I would be happy to, but I spent months searching for the perfect ring for her and also, though value was the biggest reason for me, the idea of potentially getting a blood diamond really does sicken me.

She asks for a “real” stone of equal value. OP has two points, one of which is stupid and the other valid: he doesn’t want to because he “spent months” looking for the ring and because real diamonds are inflated BS. That second one’s the fair point.

So I said no, and said if she wanted to give the ring back and end our relationship, that is fine, but I would not exchange it. She called me an asshole and went to stay the night with her parents. Since then I have received multiple texts from her friends telling me to just acquiesce and exchange the ring (and, ultimately, I will if it means saving the relationship) but I just feel like this is something worth being firm on.

So OP decided to blow up the relationship about it and I can’t decide if that’s a wild overreaction or not.

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Here’s what Reddit said:




So there you have it: Reddit is just as boggled as I am by this chick’s weird hang-up on getting a diamond that may or may not be a conflict stone.

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