Gossips are the worst. But what happens when the gossip is your mother and she is spilling the beans on your job, which required you to sign an NDA? That’s the situation one Redditor is in, and she’s horrified that her mother shared private information about her work situation and the children she is in charge of caring for. The OP’s entire family signed the NDA, and her mother violated it. What should the OP do?
“I’m a nanny for a high profile family. I signed a very extensive and strict NDA. Anyone directly involved in my life, mom, dad, sis, and husband, also signed an NDA. The nanny family recommended this, to talk about the job without getting into any legal trouble or putting them at risk,” the OP writes.
She says she recently ran into one her parents’ neighbors, Amber, who wanted to know specifics about what it’s like working for the family—which is a direct violation of the NDA and something the OP could be fired for. How did Amber get the information?
“My dad isn’t the sharing type, like at all, so I figured it was probably my mom. I asked her about it in a casual ‘Hey how’s Amber,’ way. I said I ran into Amber at the park and that it was odd because she knew details about my job without me telling her. My mom simply shrugged and said, ‘That’s funny. Maybe she googled? Or saw something on social media?'”
The OP asked her dad if he knew anything about the situation, and he said, “The only thing I know about her is that her son just made partner at a law firm in New York and is making bank and that’s only because mom saw it on instagram and told me about it.”
“Right then, I knew my mom lied to me and it was her. She and Amber love to ‘one up’ each other with their children’s success, and I also just landed a great new job. I asked my mom about it AGAIN and she told me that I was being dramatic, making stuff up, and that she would never do that to me.”
The OP knows her mom’s password, so she checked her Instagram messages where she found a long DM to Amber sharing information about the family’s professions, children’s names, ages, private school, general home location, and how they pay.
“I called her immediately and said that I logged into her DM’s and saw the message she sent Amber that was a violation. She started screaming at me about how she is supposed to be able to trust her daughter, she can’t believe I hacked into her instagram, that mothers should be allowed to brag about their children, and then she hung up.”
“It has been a week without contact between the two of us. We used to speak every single day. I am starting to believe that maybe I’m the asshole here for violating her trust like that. My husband says if anyone violated trust here it is her and that I gave her ample opportunity to tell the truth before I intervened and sought out the truth myself. He constantly reminds me that they could sue us into the ground, and fire me, for endangering my nanny family’s well being. Because truthfully, Amber could easily be a psycho fan or sell the information to someone who is.”
What should the OP do?
“Your mother took action that could result in legal repercussions, she is stupider than I thought if she sees nothing wrong with doing so. You need to sit her down and FORCE her to listen to you about this shit, and how what she did could result in being sued for I assume, everything she owns, her actions where stupid, and if she does so again you will no longer be sharing any information about any jobs in which you get. She needs to apologize for putting your job and financial wellbeing at risk, and she needs to mean it. If she does not, well, she wants to give you the cold shoulder because she fucked up and you caught her? Time to return the treatment, don’t speak to her, don’t respond to her calls or texts or emails or Instagram DMS. Don’t even act like she exists when she’s around you, ignore her 100% if she refuses to see what she did was wrong,” advised WolfPetter42.
“Not only costing OP the job but by giving such intimate details about this family she put the children in danger. These kinds of rules exist because of people who will try to manipulate or stalk the children to get to the parents. This is all absolutely not okay and OP is right to take it seriously,” said picklefluffer.
“You mum crossed the line and could end up getting sued. Because as we all know, an NDA is a legally binding document. The fact that she doesn’t take that seriously and is happy to let you lose your job because her horse is bigger than her mates horse is ridiculous. Also your reputation could be affected,” said renne94.
“I don’t think your mom gets how bad this. I sign NDAs all day every day for my what I do. I work in Hollywood and it part of the job. Your mom doesn’t get that her violating this NDA is not just breaking your the trust with this family. It will ruin all potential job opportunities. It really will. The chance of you being able to find another job after word gets out you violated an NDA.. it won’t be easy. Not at all. Also this is why my mom and I don’t talk about my work at all. Luckily I love 3k miles away so that helps,” said SparklySlothGiraffe.
“Report her to the family you work for this is a serious issue. Also I wouldn’t say it was hacking as obviously she shared the password with you,” advised Misc-fluff.
“I seriously hope you have a record of your mom’s DM, because you’re going to need it. If not, get that screenshot or record ASAP. Then strict no contact with Mom. Get a lawyer, and ask their advice before doing ANYTHING or telling anyone else. Honestly, probably should delete this post too,” advised stardropunlocked.
What would you tell the OP to do about her gossiping mother?
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