When your roommate starts dating someone insufferable, tensions are bound to arise.
Take this story from one fed-up lesbian on Reddit who has to deal with her roommate’s new girlfriend.
Apparently, the roommate’s girlfriend was initially rude because she thought the OP was hitting on her boyfriend (despite, you know, not being into guys). Then, she thought the OP was hitting on her. Ooof. Sounds like someone just likes drama and doesn’t understand how sexual attraction works.
“I (24F) am a lesbian living with my good friend (25M). I own the apartment; I’m renting out the extra room to him. A little over a month ago, he met a girl online, and they started dating. She is now at our place constantly. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really liked her. She was incredibly standoffish and rude to me from the beginning. I eventually learned it was because she thought I had a thing for my roommate. Even after he told her I was gay, apparently her only argument was, ‘she doesn’t look gay.'”
“A few weeks ago, we were all drinking and hanging out at our place with a few close friends. I tried to mend fences by pulling the GF aside and telling her that I really am gay, I have no interest in stealing her boyfriend, and I hope we can be friends. She seemed to take this very well, and was OVERLY friendly with me the whole rest of the night. I thought she was just trying to make up for being so cruel at first.”
Sounds good, right? Misunderstandings corrected, conflict addressed.
Or not.
The OP says that the next day, her roommate told her that his GF feels “uncomfortable around me after I drunkenly hit on her.”
“I tried to explain that I was trying to be nice, as I knew she didn’t particularly like me. I wanted to be civil if she was going to be around often. My roommate seemed skeptical, but he ultimately took my word for it and chalked it up to a miscommunication.”
A week later, the group is hanging out again at the OP’s place. The OP tries to be polite but distant from the GF so “another miscommunication” doesn’t occur.
“Towards the end of the night, one of our other friends comes up to me like, ‘Dude, what is going on? GF keeps telling everyone you’ve been checking her out and hitting on her all night?’ Again, I was stunned. And at this point, incredibly pissed off. I went right up to the GF in front of everyone, and said, ‘What the hell’s going on? Why are you spewing lies about me hitting on you to all my friends?’ She just stared at me, unable to respond. I continued, ‘Just because I’m gay does not mean I’m into you. Trust me, I am not the LEAST bit interested in you.’
The GF started crying and saying she was being attacked for no reason. The OP told her to get out and that she is no longer welcome at her place.
“Needless to say, my roommate is super pissed at me. He hasn’t been back to our place since, but I’ve gotten some angry texts. I’m standing my ground that she is not welcome here anymore, but he is free to stay or move out as he pleases. Most of our friends are on my side. I guess I could’ve been easier on her, but I am just so over it.”
The OP has a right to feel comfortable in her own home—and it feels like there’s definitely some homophobia going on with the GF. What do Redditors think?
“Yeah, she would have only escalated. Before you know it, OP would be accused of harassing or bad touching her,” said Melaleuca10.
“GF is way out of line and needs to be put in her place. It honestly sounds like she’s on the verge of trying to pull some gay panic bullshit. Has Roommate had previous girlfriends while you’ve been living together? If so, I’d point him to your past experiences and remind him that at no point ever have you crossed the line,” said ShoddyWitness.
“The GF is homophobic, this is typical… not believing in the validity of lesbianiam when you want to be jealous over your bf but also believing OP to be predatory. She’s only been dating the guy for 1 month, expect more crazy on the way! NTA OP and whatever you do, don’t back down to this abuser but I expect soon you will need a new tenant or they will break up…unlikely as he is thinking with his D right now,” said FlatwormDangerous,
“NTA. You’re gay so her tactic of ‘I’m uncomfortable because she’s hitting on my man’ doesn’t work, so she had to change angle. She’s massively insecure. She needs to get help. Not your problem though,” noted Cables_For_Days.
“NTA, she sounds vaguely (or very) homophobic, and she really should not enter your apartment at all if she’s going to create drama for everyone there – especially you as the apartment owner. I feel like as soon as people hear that someone close to them / near them is gay, they automatically think ‘oh my LAWD they got the hots for me cause we both have vaginas and boobies’ Thats…Not how that works and its, pretty cringy to think that way. Your roommate is also TA, you do not bite the hand that feeds you and puts a roof over your head – even if you’re paying for it,” said FreakishNightmare.
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