When you’re planning a wedding, it can be difficult to decide if you want your part to be child-free or not.
Children can be a lot of fun at the wedding party—until they start to melt down halfway through. But it’s also nice to have an adult event that parents can just go to without having to worry about entertaining their kids.
Whatever you decide to do, though, it’s got to be better than what this Redditor was set up for.
“My (23F) friend’s sister-in-law is getting married in November. My friend is helping to plan the wedding and has been sharing some of the details with me. It has been previously understood that I would not be going to the wedding because I’m not a close friend of the bride or groom nor am I a relative. This has never bothered me and I’ve just been excited to know that two people that love each other are getting married,” the OP said.
“Today, my friend texted me and told me that I might have to go to the wedding. When I asked her why, she told me it would be to take care of the guests’ children. I thought she was joking but then she insisted that she was serious. I asked if I would at least get paid for taking care of kids that aren’t mine and that I barely know and she said that going to the wedding was enough pay.”
The OP said she found it disrespectful that she would be invited as a nanny and not as a guest.
Additionally, she was perplexed at the idea of taking care of at least three kids under age 10 that she didn’t even know. “However, I considered the fact that they might actually need someone to help out. So, am I being dramatic and an AH or should I stand my ground,” she wants to know.
“I’ve been hired as a wedding babysitter a few times and it’s a pain in the ass. You have to chase the kids all over the venue. There’s always some drunk adult who comes over to take one of the kids and you don’t know if that’s their relative or some drunk rando. There’s usually tons of sweets available but not much kid friendly food. Plus it’s nerve wracking to keep them from crying or acting up during the vows. The easiest ones are just watching a baby in a near by hotel room. But, all and all, you should get paid: it’s work and not that enjoyable,” said somaticconviction.
“Would going to the wedding be ‘enough pay’ for the caterer? The florist? The DJ? No? They have to pay all those people? Then why the heck wouldn’t they have to pay the babysitter! This is rude as hell. NTA,” noted GlibTurret.
“You invite people to weddings, you don’t tell them ‘they might have to go’ like it’s a shift for work you might have to go in for or a sick relative you might have to go visit. OP isn’t even close with these people. Tf is this,” asked Redundant_fox221.
“NTA. ‘I am flattered that they think that highly of my babysitting skills. While I support the couple, I am actually engaged on that day and cannot make it to the wedding. I wish them all the luck in the world. Maybe you could look on Care.com to find a sitter,” Winiri suggested the OP say.
“If you’re stuck baby sitting all night how are you going to enjoy the wedding you weren’t going to in the first place. And instead of paying you , they think that having had the honor of going to the wedding, you should not be paid! JUST NO! I would have been insulted. Don’t even think of agreeing to this insult,” said ReyJedimaster.
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