Stacey
11.
A long time ago I was walking down a side street in a medium-sized town with my girlfriend. A car was parked ahead, with the front of the car facing us as we approached. I could see two kids, maybe in their late teens, and instantly could tell they were likely going to say something as my girlfriend was rather attractive.
As soon as we come up next to them I hear “hey baby, ditch the zero and come hang with the hero”. I could feel my blood boil but I kept my cool and calmly said “sorry buddy, I’m not gay…and don’t call my girlfriend a zero”. The dude’s friend started laughing at him and my girlfriend made a sarcastic crying face then we both started to laugh. – gman0009
12.
A friend of mine was giving me shit while we were all bowling. Off the cuff I yelled at him, “You’re adopted! Your parents don’t even like you!” He laughed, because, you now, friends. Like three hours later it hit me and I turned around and said, “Holy Shit xx! You are adopted (I completely forgot)! I’m so sorry dude.” Which he thought made the whole situation even funnier. – PorkVacuums
13.
Got to work one morning, my chosen football team had thrashed my bosses chosen team, I gave him a load of shit for it (humorously, of course, my boss is great). He gave me some shit back and told me to do a stock-take on all items we have beginning with the letter C. I pointed at him and said “1.” Luckily, he took it the correct way and laughed a lot. – I-Am-DAINJAH
14.
“There’s no way you’re this much of an asshole naturally, you must go home and practice.”
I said this to a coworker who was throwing a fit and bullying a quieter coworker because he was pissed off. He had a habit of just being a giant douche anytime things didn’t go his way. This comment pissed him off so much he just stormed into his office and stayed there for the rest of the day (win for the rest of us). – TuesDazeGone
15.
Around the time I was 12, I was at a family party with my dad and aunts/uncles. My dad told me that one of my uncles owned several bars. My response? “Oh, it’s good that he got into a business that he knows something about.”
I had no idea what I really was saying, I thought I was giving him a compliment. – gottagetpastit
16.
I was eating McDonald’s with a few friends and I started choking.. the only thing I managed to say in the whole ordeal was “I’m McChokin.'” – cocoboco101
17.
Long story short: my friend would share my ”sexcapades” with other people (which I would rather he didn’t).
Got fed up and ended up blurting out ”Just because you don’t have your own stories to share doesn’t mean you have to share mine.” – lnemv
18.
On a family vacation, my grandmother was giving me grief for not remembering her birthday (I’ve never been good with birthdays) after telling me it was the password to her iPhone (she wanted me to take a picture with it, which is why I needed the password.)
While she was distracted, I opened up the settings, changed her password to my birthdate, and then set her phone down.
Cue 15 minutes later, she’s trying to get into her phone and it’s not working. Suspecting mischief, she grumpily asks me if I’ve changed the password to her phone in front of our entire family. I admit that I did.
“Well, what is it?” She asked impatiently.
“It’s my birthdate.”
She sat there in stunned silence for about 15 seconds not being able to remember my birthday before our family exploded laughing. It was a good time. – Seeker7fold
19.
I came out to my friend as a lesbian. She told me that it was unnatural so I said ‘it’s more natural then your tits’. We’re not friends anymore. – yourlocallesbean6
20.
On the first day camping at a 2016 music festival, I headed off with a 4-gallon jug to get water.
A girl who was with our group, who I’d never met before, asked if I needed help. I responded, “No—but I’d sure love some company.”
We’re getting married this fall. – eachfire
You may or may not also enjoy these high-quality links:
- 35 Of The Funniest Swole Doge And Cheems Memes We Had Time To Find
- 33 Of The Best Meme Man Memes We Could Find
- It’s Been A While Since We Checked In On The Fine People Of Walmart (27 Pics)
- The Best (Or Worst) Of Reddit’s Roast Me Memes
- Women On TikTok Are Putting Ice Cubes In Their Vaginas And Sharing Their Reactions (21 TikToks)
