Hannah Riley
Once I went on a first date with a guy who seemed nice but wouldn’t tell me what he did for a living. I assumed he had lost his job recently and still wanted to give him a chance. When we met in person, he told me he was the guy who pressed the big red button for drone strikes for a living. Maybe I have too high of standards, but I like a man who has never killed anyone. I noped out of there really fast.
Bad dates where you block the person’s number the second you get away from them aren’t incredibly common but if you’ve had one, you know they’re impossible to forget. People on AskReddit are sharing horrible first date stories that made them get up and leave before it was over. I don’t blame them one bit.
1.
Had a first date with a girl who insisted we go to a really expensive place, where she ordered a $25 dollar appetizer, $45 steak, and a $15 drink. She wouldn’t put down her phone, kept taking calls and answering texts. The waitress noticed and motioned for me from behind her. I excused myself, and the waitress had separate bills all made up and asked if I wanted to pay my share and leave her at the table. I said, “That would be wonderful!” So I did.
– ELPwork
2.
She stuck her chewing gum under the dining table and started looking at her phone.
3.
On the first date, we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied “Scorpio”. She leaned over the table and slapped me clean & hard across the face. Naturally, I was shocked and confused, I mouthed “What…?”, she firmly says “I NEVER date Scorpios”. I went to the bathroom, came back – she had gone and paid for everything.
4.
She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays. Not give them any vet care and was planning on keeping a recent litter. I love cats… I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.
5.
Legitimately when she said she needed to take a wee as we walked down a back alley to the next bar. She pulled her jeans down, TOOK A SHIT behind a bin, then searched in the bin and wiped with a sheet of newspaper.
I was totally infatuated with her after working with her for a few months and in 30 seconds it disappeared, fast.
– 88meek
6.
Went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. And it wasn’t one recent clipping. It was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.
7.
She told me she was probably going to ghost me and then asked me to buy her a second drink while I was only a couple of sips into mine.
8.
This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed he said something along the lines of, “So you know in order for this to work you’re gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.”
I was pretty dumbfounded and after a bit of stuttering I told him I didn’t think it was going to work, asked for a to-go box and my portion of the check, and noped the f*ck outta there
– Kultaren
9.
Went to pick up my blind date. She opened the door and looked at me.
“Ew”
I looked at her and said “Yeah, I agree” and turned on my heel and left. Total date-time Less than 5 minutes.
10.
The guy wanted to play ‘never have I ever’ as an ice breaker.
He goes first and says ‘never have I ever drank my own fluids.’ He then proceeds to neck his entire pint.
Laters mate 👋🏻
– avendu
11.
This is meeting someone from an online dating app… He turned up with pupils the size of dinner plates, and super erratic. He said he’d forgotten his wallet so I got the first round. We were on the way to the second pub to meet his mates so they could lend him some money. For the walk there he spoke absolute garbage/nonsense nonstop but ended with how he tried to drown his exes chihuahuas in a pool.
Near the pub, he said he had to answer whoever was calling him on the phone ( at this point we were 30 minutes into the date and already going to the next pub, he’d downed his drink in about 3 seconds) whilst he stood there on the phone I said I would meet him at the pub(everything was all in close proximity) but instead walked past it and ran all the way home.
12.
Invited me inside while he finished getting ready, no biggie. Once inside he insisted that I let him show me his “dungeon”. Dudes apartment was pretty empty, minus a TV and couch, but his bedroom was kitted out. He then wanted now uncomfortable me to see if the shackles on his bed fit me. Thankfully, I had set up for a friend to call me within the first 30 mins of the date and I faked an emergency.
13.
I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan. Definitely, the moment he said “My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.” Annnnnnndddddd that’s when I bounced.
14.
I drove us. Started to parallel park (been working/parking in SF for years by then) and he said, “I’ll park this for you, women don’t do well at parallel parking.” At dinner, he was dismissive only to the female wait staff.
I ran into these two hilariously drunk surfer dudes on my way from the bathroom, they told me my date was a jerk. We laughed about it and I went back to my table.
When leaving, the drunk dudes were also outside, I said bye to them and Asshole had the nerve to bark, “she’s with me!”
I told him to wait while I got in the car and unlocked the doors..except I didn’t. I drove off and left him standing there. The two drunk dudes whooped and yelled go, lady, go! Such an awesome finish to a terribly embarrassing date.
15.
On the first date with a military guy. He spent a large portion of the date talking about why the strippers in Toronto were better than the strippers where we lived. To change the topic, I asked him if he did any volunteer work with the military overseas and he said “NO! I joined the military to kill people not help people!” I got my bill, chugged my beer, and left as fast as I could.
– ldid
16.
Having the usual get to know you conversation over drinks. I was telling them how my car was stolen the night before and her response was..”Don’t you just hate blacks?” I never said who stole it…I was out of there…
17.
The fact that within 10 minutes of meeting him he started making sexual comments and “joking” about following me home so he could stalk me if I rejected him.
I got out with the help of a bartender who let me leave out the back door.
18.
We were talking about our pets and I told her about my cat and she said if we were to continue dating I would have to get rid of him because she doesn’t like cats. For a moment I thought she was kidding because who would ask that for a first date (or any date). It became clear she wasn’t kidding and was mad I wasn’t taking her suggestion seriously. I didn’t end up leaving, I was in the middle of my fettuccine alfredo and I wasn’t about to scoop it into some doggy bag like some caveman. She took an Uber.
I haven’t had many memorably bad dates, but that was the worst. I’m willing to make certain reasonable changes for the right person, but cats are non-negotiable.
19.
Not me but this happened to a friend. Context: my friend has a beard. So my friend picks up this girl and they’re on their way to dinner and she says “You do realize that if this is gonna work you have to shave that off right?” He didn’t say anything, just turned around and dropped her back off at her house
20.
We chatted online. At the time I was a smoker and told him. He said no big deal because he smokes too. Decided to meet up at Starbucks for coffee. The first thing he said was, “hi. By the way, when I said I smoke, I was talking about meth.”
I said, “ok, bye”. And turned around and left.
21.
Great chats online, decided to meet in person.
He’s got a blue tooth headset with a little LED light that shows it’s on. He keeps it on during drinks. I work up the nerve to ask if he can take off the headset while we’re eating dinner.
With pride and complete confidence, he says, “Don’t worry! You totally have my full attention. This isn’t a phone headset, it’s a camera.”
22.
I went to the bathroom but left my phone. She texted every girl name in my phone ” I miss you”
– RPO1728
23.
Only happened once, she kept talking about her ex, I asked if she wanted to get back with him, she said I don’t know and showed me a picture of him.. couldn’t leave fast enough
24.
He invited me and a friend to play dodgeball with a group of folks I’ve never met. We’re having an ok time, he’s paying more attention to his friends but that’s fine because I’ve got my friend to keep me occupied. We’re hanging out in the parking lot before the first game is about to start when out of nowhere he grabs a ball and throws it at my crotch as hard as he can. This motherfucker screams “wham, bam, right in the clam!”
I immediately turn to my friend and ask her if she’s ready to leave. I say goodbye to him and his friends. Immediately come home to a grip of texts about how “immature” I was behaving.
25.
1 pm lunch date and she was drunk as a skunk. She invited me back to her place, where she said her 2-year-old son wouldn’t even notice. I noped out and called her a cab home.
I still feel bad for the son years later.
– Wrexis
26.
I go to a bar and meet this cute girl and we get along pretty fine, she invites me back to her place but it turned out that she was with her friends at the bar and they were just giving her some space for us to talk. They were all drunk and her friend was insisting on driving home so she (her friend) agreed to let me drive them home because the friend was very set on not leaving her truck parked outside a bar overnight.
We get all the way to their apartment complex and then getting into the parking spot was tricky so the drunk friend/truck owner insisted on parking (and pulled the “I legally own this vehicle” card). I was some guy her friend just met at a bar so I was like “…okay then”. Within 5 seconds she backs the truck into a drainage ditch and gets it stuck. We all have to push the truck and get covered in mud. While we were doing that, the girl I met at the bar had lost her wallet so I dug through the mud water ditch at like 4 am and didn’t find her wallet.
We get back to her place and the mood is definitely ruined, so we end up eating a random cheese and meat platter from Safeway on her kitchen floor at like 4 am. I sleep on the couch and wake up early and I think “well, she was great it was just the whole truck thing that ruined it.”
I look for a pen and paper to write down my number before leaving, all I can find is a piece of paper taped to the (inside of) the door. It was a court date notice for a domestic violence/abuse hearing. I just left and chalked it up as a strange night.
27.
I had invited a guy off a dating site to my house. When I opened the door, he said he could kill me if he wanted, and that I should never meet anyone off the internet again.
My two male roommates were in the kitchen because they knew this guy was coming and heard him. They ran him out of the house pretty dang quick.
28.
I had a first date with a girl who told me, “Actually I’m engaged but I’m not 100% sure if he’s the right one. So I’m going to go out on a few dates to see if I change my mind.”
Check, please!
29.
When I realized she was trying to get her ex to get jealous of me. She chose the place and time and it was where her ex worked at that time.
Left and apologized to the ex.
Later she texted me saying that she’d forgive me for the faux pas if went to another date-she still picked the same time and place. I ghosted her.
30.
He kept saying things like ‘I hope people from school see us together so they stop calling me gay’ and then spoke about my males friend’s genitals, then asked if he could come to the toilet with me. It was valentine’s day, we never spoke again
31.
Guy wanted to meet a place I use to work at, I showed up and he was already there. I order a vodka and we’re glaring into the menu while his shots arrive and he’s just pounding them. The base bartender is giving the stinkeye, I know him so I’m like WTF. The date steps out for the bathroom or vape and the bartender beelines to my table to warn me this guy is a raging alcoholic that “fucked around” with his cousin a few months back. I noped right out of there.
32.
He was 45 minutes late picking me up (weather was quite poor so I gave him a pass)
Get to the coffee shop, take off my jacket and immediately he says, “I see you brought your A-game, or should I say, D game “ referring to my breasts. (I’m surprisingly busty for my frame)
Even the people 2 tables over just stopped and looked at him.
33.
She talked about how much she missed her ex and how she used to stalk him. They got into a fight one time at the airport, he left to go home, she raced to his house, went up the balcony to sneak into his house just to wait for him when he got home.
34.
She brought her pet rat with her that was hanging out in her bra, feeding it french fries. She casually mentioned she had warrants, so I just faked an emergency and bailed.
35.
He brought two friends along which was unexpected. They were all drunk. I flagged down a waitress while one guy left to go do something. I ordered my food, the other two confessed they’d already eaten. The third guy walks back into the restaurant, dripping blood from a horrific gash in his arm. In shock, I ran to my car & grabbed my first aid kit, cleaned & butterflied the wound, bandaged it, had the guy elevate his arm while the waitress called 911. Got cleaned up, returned to find the un-injured guys who had just eaten my food. Grabbed my kit & my purse and walked out.
– cat9tail
