Ruin My Week
21.
How about a wholesome, insane one? IANAL, but this was told to me by my mom regarding the divorce she got from my dad. They couldn’t settle on an alimony amount. Mom and her lawyer came in with a number, dad countered with a number. They couldn’t agree… BECAUSE my dad thought my mom should get twice the amount in alimony she was asking for and my mom didn’t want my dad to give her that much money for month. It took months for them to settle on a figure that appeased both of them.
Even then, my mom puts aside the extra above what she wanted in case my dad ever has a financial emergency and my dad puts aside the extra she didn’t want in case my mom ever has a financial emergency. The funny thing is, they don’t know the other is putting the money aside for the other. My mom told me about her emergency stash and my dad told my brother about his emergency stash, bro and I discussed it while talking about what nutjobs our parents are.—u/AreYouALavaBearer
22.
Not my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbit statue, a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever. Zero sentimental value but since it was the final item, neither side wanted to “lose” the last thing and they dragged it out over 3 separate meetings for this one thing. I don’t remember which ended up getting it, but once they settled it and signed everything, the “winning” party stuck it on their lawyer’s desk as a gift and walked out.—u/Much_Difference
23.
I work for a divorce attorney now but the craziest thing came to my attention when I worked for the prosecuting attorney. This couple was breaking up and Mister left the house. Missus went to work the next morning as usual. When she returned home in the evening she found Mister had been to the house and removed his clothing and belongings as she expected. What she didn’t expect was that he had also Gorilla glued her belongings together.
He glued the tv remote to the table, the phone to its cradle, the couch pillows to the couch and even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet. She called the police and reported this as property damage. The police went with her through the house documenting dozens of items glued to various things but for days she was discovering random things and she would call to amend or update her report. “My gd oven mitts were glued to the wall.” or “He glued the effing sheets together in the linen closet!”
I’ve seen people do and say really awful things to each other but that was diabolical.—u/Maxwyfe
