Aimeé
People end their marriages for all kinds of reasons, but most of them are pretty mundane. They fought too much, cheating, growing apart, stress. Sad stories, but common.
None of the stories on this r/AskReddit thread started by u/KlyonneSpencer are common. They asked the Reddit community, “Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what is the most ridiculous reason your client filed divorce for?”
The responses were so wild that you might find yourself asking your future spouse all sorts of questions before tying the knot. Like, “Do you slurp your food?” and “What exactly is in your special spaghetti sauce recipe?” These are important things to know because the answers might be cause for divorce. They were for these people:
1.
I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee…for seven years. —BlankSmitty
2.
He didn’t help her put up a shower curtain. It may have been a straw that broke the camel’s back situation though. Best reason: cops showed up to tell her that her husband is a violent child sex offender and she’s now aiding and abetting bc her house is next to a school. —Abogada77
3.
My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using “too much tp” —dizzylyingdown
4.
Lawyer here. One of mine that sticks out is that the husband and wife both played some sort of on-line role-playing game, sort of like the Sims I think but a little more elaborate and adult (‘Second Life’ maybe?). I don’t know anything about online games.
The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn’t reduce her time playing no matter what he said. What tipped things over the edge however was that he set up a fake profile/ avatar and went online to stalk her in the game and found her avatar having sex with some random guy’s avatar.
Nothing ever happened in real life (neither of them were exactly oil paintings to look at) but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairy acrimonious divorce. —Anonymous
5.
Hopefully soon-to-be-former Divorce attorney, I’ve seen tons of crazy reasons for people to get divorced. Some of them stupid, some of them make perfect sense. I had one person get divorced because her husband wouldn’t take her out to the movies anymore. I had one client who looked through her husbands phone and found out he was hiring male escorts while he was on business trips. One female client got a divorce because she hated sex with her husband. Her last relationship before she got married was pretty intense and I guess her husband just didn’t match up. I’ve had a few clients who were teachers get divorced because their spouses found out they were having indecent relationships with students. All of the teachers were female. One divorce involved an elderly couple who had both recently been widowed. They had both been married to their individual spouses for over 40 years. They married each other out of loneliness. About two years into the marriage, they realized they made a huge mistake. They couldnt stand each other. It was weird seeing eighty year olds complaining about the same thing you see kids arguing about. —eljefe1676
6.
Not a divorce lawyer, but have done marriage therapy. Had a soldier stationed at Guantanamo Bay that met a local. Fell madly in love. They decided to get married so she could come with him back in the states once his tour was done.
She was working on American dishes, and was making spaghetti. He comes home from work one day, and she’s making it. She puts the meat in, puts the canned sauce in, and then pulls an unlabeled bag out of the freezer and adds it to the sauce.
At this point in the session she’s hysterically crying with broken spanglesh. She’s trying to explain she didn’t know any better. Through the hysteria he informs me her mother and grandmother told her if she wanted to keep her man, she needed to put her menstrual blood in his food. It was so hard to keep my composure. I was trying to hard not to gag.
They both described they were madly in love, but he couldn’t let it go. They ended up getting a divorce. Having done this for 14 years, I have found it 100% accurate that truth is stranger than fiction.—Palatron
7.
He loved his pinball machine collection more than her. Also it turns out some pin ball machines can be worth a sh—tload of money. —stervenjerbs
8.
My dad split my mom because “she takes too long to tell a story”. He was actually having affair #4795809374 and that came out shortly after. But this was one of the main reasons he gave when they did a counselling session together. —sixtiesqueeen
9.
Not me but my friend who specialises in family law. Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they’d rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day. —Anonymous
10.
Divorce lawyer here. One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn’t want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy. —RavenHairBeauty
