Heterosexuality is a prison, as the kids say these days. Constantly regulating your behavior, interests, and passions because for some reason, the straights think that’s what dictates sexuality. It’s pretty depressing and also pretty normalized, as phrases like “no homo” and “that’s gay” illustrate. But this thread started by u/ma_damn_blueberry on r/AskReddit really drives the point home. They asked, “Straight men of Reddit: what’s the strangest thing you’ve been told not to do because ‘that’s gay’?”
Some of the replies are expected, some are not. Homophobia is so deeply embedded in people’s psyches that some bros have even come around to thinking hanging out with women is “gay.” They’re so afraid of being perceived as gay, they can’t enjoy life! I might feel a little sorry for them, except being gay actually rules, and anyone trying to regulate other people’s behavior by insinuating otherwise should be ignored. Here’s a list of things that are NOT gay, just awesome…which is kinda gay.
1.
I grew up in California before moving to the east coast as a teenager. I’ve been told all Californian’s are gay or at least bi, more than once. Edit – so it’s been implied that I should not do “being Californian” —iph0ne
2.
I was reading a book and a couple dudes called me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was using a bookmark. —RJ1337
3.
I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that gay as f*ck. —jumpstart58
4.
There was a thread on here a while back where some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn’t wipe himself or wash his genitals cause “touching a d*ck is gay” —amc7262
5.
I heard a rapper once say eating bananas without cutting them up was “sus”… —PhillipLlerenas
6.
Floss my teeth. Apparently, gingivitis is something only hetero people have. —DeadWombats
7.
I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I’ve been told I should stop doing it because sewing is either gay or women’s work. On the plus side I am a 6’2 bear of a man so when I tell them to f*ck off, they usually leave it be. —BattleFerrett
8.
Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very stupid culture. —mindfeces
9.
My sister had psychology lessons at her University. She told me that her teacher explained that every man that went to see a prostitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out the previous man penis inside the prostitute’s vagina. She’s adamant that the teacher really said that but of course it’s a second hand story. —inckalt
10.
My brother in law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a b—tch and I sat right next to him. For the entire movie. —writerintheory1382