Pleated-Jeans
You thought you were smart? Think again.
Shower Thoughts have a way of taking you down a notch while also entertaining you and making you think about things you’ve never thought about before.
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3. If phones warned that listening at a high volume may cause damage to headphones instead of hearing, more people would probably keep their volume lower.
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4. Cops saying “if you lawyer up, you look guilty” is like saying “if you wear your seatbelt, you look like your going to get in a car accident”
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6. Your future self is talking shit about you.
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7. The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off.
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8. If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.
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10. It’d be horrifying if babies could scream from inside the womb instead of just wiggle and kick.
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12. Women’s longer average lifespan is partially canceled out by longer wait times at public restrooms. u/Laughing_Fish
13. Young people now hate Boomers for destroying the housing market. Young people in the future will hate Millenials for destroying their privacy. u/BrandonTheStoner
14. You go to math class in school so that you can unlock different buttons on your calculator u/jawa24
15. If Star Trek-like transporter technology were invented, the airline industry would spend billions to discredit it as unsafe and scary. u/GrumpyPidgeon
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17. Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.
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18. Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that’s entirely end credits.
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21. If you woke up with the ability to walk through walls, it would probably take a decent amount of time before you realize you suddenly had that power.
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22. Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can’t find any enemies.
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23. It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly.
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26. Jet lag must be a real son of a bitch in the Star Wars Universe. u/original_nerf_herder
27. 25-cent candy machines are becoming a better value every year due to inflation. They haven’t changed the prices in decades and usually dispense the same amount of candy. u/Bug0
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31. It would be weird if a human yelled out “Anyone wanna f*ck?” but birds do it all day and nobody cares.
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32. If racehorses could comprehend that victory meant a lifetime of leisure and sex they’d probably run even faster.
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33. If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.
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37. Sleeping in is considered lazy, but going to bed early is not.
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38. You know you’ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
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39. A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.
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44. Being attracted to celebrities is easy because we haven’t had the chance to be turned off by their personalities. u/OnceUponACockapuss
45. Since the Earth is round, our heads have traveled farther than our feet. u/Xinovaz
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48. Your brain shows the most impressive example of machine learning when it generates fake conversations in your sleep for real people in your life. u/Ginger_Face
49. They never tell you how much time you’ll waste as an adult trying to decide whether or not to keep a cardboard box. u/boilerup4444