You thought you were smart? Think again. Shower Thoughts have a way of taking you down a notch while also entertaining you and making you think about things you’ve never thought about before.
3. If phones warned that listening at a high volume may cause damage to headphones instead of hearing, more people would probably keep their volume lower.
4. Cops saying “if you lawyer up, you look guilty” is like saying “if you wear your seatbelt, you look like your going to get in a car accident”
6. Your future self is talking shit about you.
7. The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off.
8. If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.
10. It’d be horrifying if babies could scream from inside the womb instead of just wiggle and kick.
12. Women’s longer average lifespan is partially canceled out by longer wait times at public restrooms. u/Laughing_Fish
13. Young people now hate Boomers for destroying the housing market. Young people in the future will hate Millenials for destroying their privacy. u/BrandonTheStoner
14. You go to math class in school so that you can unlock different buttons on your calculator u/jawa24
15. If Star Trek-like transporter technology were invented, the airline industry would spend billions to discredit it as unsafe and scary. u/GrumpyPidgeon
17. Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.
18. Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that’s entirely end credits.
21. If you woke up with the ability to walk through walls, it would probably take a decent amount of time before you realize you suddenly had that power.
22. Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can’t find any enemies.
23. It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly.
26. Jet lag must be a real son of a bitch in the Star Wars Universe. u/original_nerf_herder
27. 25-cent candy machines are becoming a better value every year due to inflation. They haven’t changed the prices in decades and usually dispense the same amount of candy. u/Bug0
31. It would be weird if a human yelled out “Anyone wanna f*ck?” but birds do it all day and nobody cares.
32. If racehorses could comprehend that victory meant a lifetime of leisure and sex they’d probably run even faster.
33. If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.
37. Sleeping in is considered lazy, but going to bed early is not.
38. You know you’ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
39. A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.
44. Being attracted to celebrities is easy because we haven’t had the chance to be turned off by their personalities. u/OnceUponACockapuss
45. Since the Earth is round, our heads have traveled farther than our feet. u/Xinovaz
48. Your brain shows the most impressive example of machine learning when it generates fake conversations in your sleep for real people in your life. u/Ginger_Face
49. They never tell you how much time you’ll waste as an adult trying to decide whether or not to keep a cardboard box. u/boilerup4444