Kate Hackett
Thanks to r/LifeProTips, we have some excellent tricks to get out of bad social situations. Check out some of the most useful hacks below and be armed with your favorites at your next potential issue.
1. Change your logins & passwords
I’m in the midst of hiring. I had one applicant who stood head-and-shoulders above the rest. She was exactly what my organization was looking for.
Unfortunately, during the interview process, she informed us via email she was no longer interested in the opportunity. So, we moved on to our second candidate.
Fast forward two weeks: I get a call from the applicant wondering if we had found someone and expressing interest in the job…I told her that she said she wasn’t interested and I showed her the email she sent us. Apparently, she didn’t send the email.
She had recently broken up with her boyfriend during her application process and he ‘hacked’ into all her accounts and f***** her life up. He deleted all of her social media and also sent us a false email saying she was no longer interested in the job.
Unfortunately, we hired someone so that opportunity is lost to her forever.
If you are in serious relationship, then your partner has all of your passwords. They do. It is ridiculously easy to get someone’s passwords if you have access to their phone or computer. It is to your advantage to just assume someone you are serious with has all your passwords. Before you break up, with them you need to change all, yes ALL, of your passwords.
It is amazing how evil and vindictive people can be when they are heartbroken. Even so-called ‘nice’ people can have a moment of temporary insanity after a break up and torch your whole life if they have the chance.
Don’t give them that chance. Change your passwords.
2. Don’t decline because you’re polite
If someone offers you something you want, take it. Don’t decline every kind offer out of politeness.
It’s something I’ve had to grow out of that has cost me so many opportunities. Growing up with severe social anxiety, I found it so hard to accept things people offered me: drinks at their houses, going on outings with people whom I think are inviting me out of kindness, money, job opportunities. There is NO shame in saying yes when someone offers something and usually they’re asking because they WANT to help. Help yourself out. You don’t have to do everything on your own.
3. Stay in the budget
When being treated to a personal meal at a restaurant, try to stay within their budget. You can figure this out discreetly by asking what your friend/family/colleague is getting, then ordering around or under that price—not more than a dollar or two more than theirs.
4. Shhhh.
You don’t have to speak to fit in, in fact you definitely shouldn’t. Introverted and anxious people often feel the need to be continuously talkative in social settings. Be true to yourself and talk about what you know. People will respect you more for your sincere opinions and brevity.
5. Be tidy
Some of us are born with good looks, or have worked hard to achieve a gorgeous body, or naturally grow into a chiselled jaw line… For various reasons, you might not be able to do these things, but you can be tidy.
It’s honestly surprising how far a neat haircut, clean, well-fitting clothes, and subtle aftershave will go.
6. Treat people like they’re already pals
When meeting someone you want to have a friendly relationship with, act like you’ve been friends for years already.
Let your face light up when you see them like they’ve made your day by being there. Ask them how they’re doing and empathize. Share stuff back, like you would with a friend and not just a stranger—don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable as you’re creating a safe space for them to share their vulnerabilities. If your words/face/body language convey the message, ‘I like you as a person,’ they will eventually start to like you back and BOOM: friendship!
I accidentally found this out years back by sitting down and chatting to a stranger in my class thinking she was someone I knew. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the year! I’ve been using this technique ever since and now small talk and meeting new people feels natural.
7. Ask your bartender for help
If you don’t drink but still go to bars for social events, ask the bartender to give you a soda but make it look like a cocktail. All bartenders will do this if asked. Enjoy being spared the tons of “Why aren’t you drinking?’ questions.
I don’t drink simply because I don’t enjoy alcohol. However, I still enjoy going to bars to socialize with friends. If I am clearly just drinking water, I am always inundated with questions about why I’m not drinking. People get very nervous drinking around a sober person. I learned this trick from a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and it has made my social life much more enjoyable! I typically ask for a seltzer with a shot of grenadine. A lot of times the bartender won’t even charge you, which is another nice benefit. But remember to tip them regardless!
8. Leave parties earlier
For anyone who hates social gatherings or family birthday parties, show up last minute or even a few minutes late so you can park behind everyone. That way, when the first person leaves you can as well because you ‘have to let them out’ by moving your car.
9. Include people
If a stranger joins a social situation, immediately—and familiarly—fill them in.
I’ve found this is really great when I’m at a friend or romantic interest’s house and their roommate (whom I’ve never met) comes home. I just turn around and say, ‘Hi, we’re baking,’ or ‘Hey, we’re watching [this movie], have you seen it?’ You immediately open the door for colloquial conversation with them and avoid that awkward ‘we know of each other but never speak’ relationship. Similarly, it’s just great to be included when you come into a new space. I’ve made lots of friends just by being accommodating like this.
10. Move ON.
After going through a breakup, don’t snoop your ex’s social media. At best, you’ll see something you don’t care about; at worst, you’ll see something that breaks your heart.
The key is to ‘move on.’ Constantly checking into their life keeps you static. You won’t move forward with your own life if you’re constantly tethered to theirs. It’s okay to miss them and long for them but you have to keep moving. Snooping is something we can truly control and after a week or two, you will be proud of yourself for not giving in.
11. Get opinions on controversial topics
If you want an honest opinion from someone on a social issue, pretend like you know nothing about it and have them explain it to you.
Living in the rural Midwest, this has saved me from countless heated debates due to my different opinion on something.
12. Get all new photos for dating
Don’t post the same photos on social media and dating sites. Make new photos just for dating sites so that people can’t reverse image search you and try to contact you on social media.
13. Don’t feel embarassed
If you ever find yourself embarrassed or nervous to do something in public that’ll catch attention, remind yourself that you’ll never see those people again.
This might be a little cliché and you’ve might’ve heard it before, but it really helps. Telling yourself things like, “What are these people going to do? call the SWAT team because I’m (insert activity) in public?” “I’m never going to see these people in my life again, so why does it matter what they think?” or “We’re all going to die, so I might as well enjoy it and do what I want without shame” will really help you if you feel anxious or embarrassed in public.
Also, for the people with social anxiety, I know this doesn’t help you fully and that it’s an actual illness that requires treatment from professionals, so don’t take this the wrong way. It’s not my intention, it’s just to help out the people who are just naturally really shy. If you have social anxiety, i advise you get help from a professional, but again, I’m no expert on social anxiety, so I obviously don’t have the best advice for you all. Anyway, I hope this helped some of you! My best wishes to everyone.
14. Deleting social media
If you constantly find yourself deactivating your social media accounts in times of trouble and then reactivating them once again when things are good; it’s probably best to abstain from them once and for all.
15. Avoid Small Talk
TL;DR: Look at and listen to your companion after you finish a thought to allow for their (verbal or nonverbal) contribution to the conversation. They will feel like you are listening and you will begin to more succinctly communicate your own thoughts.
