snooping friend

Woman Asks If She’s Wrong To Take Spare Key Back From Friend She Found Snooping In Her Home

A woman posted on Reddit’s “AITA” thread after confiscating her friend’s spare key because she entered OP’s house without permission. OP said her friend entered her house when OP wasn’t home to retrieve a necklace, and found some BDSM accessories on OP’s bed.

The Redditor said her friend was sitting on her couch when she arrived home. Her friend then started lecturing OP on how BDSM is “degrading” and she shouldn’t take part in it.  

OP said she got so furious she took back her friend’s key and told her to “not bother contacting me unless it was to apologize for violating my privacy.”

“So my best friend and I swapped keys to our houses in case of emergency, we can get in to each other’s houses. We’ve never had to use them except for once she forgot her keys at home and I let her in. Anyway over the weekend my boyfriend went to visit his mother and I went grocery shopping for the first time in like 4 weeks, so the house was empty.

My boyfriend and I have some bdsm stuff in the bedroom that we didn’t put away because we were lazy and didn’t think anyone would see, since no one was coming over. Not anything super insane, just a pair of handcuffs and a rope.

Anyway, when I got home my friend was just in my house, sitting in the dining room. No warning, she didn’t tell me, I was completely blindsided. I asked her why she was in my house and she said she had lost a necklace the last time she was here, and waited until I was gone as to “socially distance”. But then, if entering my house without permission wasn’t enough, she started lecturing me on the bdsm stuff and how it’s “degrading” and that I shouldn’t let my boyfriend do that to me. We’ve never really agreed on kinky sex in the past when we’ve talked about it so we HAD agreed just to not bring it up. But also I’m not the one having stuff done to me, my boyfriend is the sub. I of course couldn’t tell her this because I didn’t want to embarrass my boyfriend.

I was super pissed, and I took her key and told her to not bother contacting me unless it was to apologize for violating my privacy. She said it wasn’t fair to take my key back, but I just pushed her out the door and didn’t listen because I was so mad.

She’s been texting me how she didn’t mean it as a violation of privacy and was just getting her necklace and happened to see but was “worried” for me. I talked to one of my other friends about it and she said that I should just let it go and move on, and that while I’m in the right I’m being to uptight about it. I don’t think this is just a let it go and move on type of thing, am I overreacting here?


OP is decidedly NTA here.

Many readers felt it was “psycho” OP’s friend would walk into her house without warning. They agreed it was a “huge invasion of privacy” and OP’s friend was in the wrong. Some users even speculated OP’s friend was deliberately spying on her.

“NTA […] she violated your trust and privacy. That is not something I could get over,” one user said.

Some thought the story about the necklace was simply a fake excuse to snoop.

“She took the focus off of the fact she was caught in a house she had no business being in and refocused by shaming OP. Deeply creepy,” one user wrote.

“I doubt she lost her necklace in the bedroom, but she went in there anyway. Wonder why. She’s a judgemental snoop,” one user replied.

In addition to thinking OP’s friend was in the wrong for entering the house, pretty much everyone was appalled she would judge OP for her sexual preferences.

“It’s a private matter between two consenting adults that is absolutely none of her damn business,” one user wrote.

“It’s none of her business. She stepped way out of line here,” one user said.

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