Over at Reddit, a thread popped off when someone asked about ridiculous orders placed by customers at restaurants. Let’s just say, the waiters were very ready to answer this question. If you’ve ever worked in service, you know how thankless and grueling it can be—and you also know how absurd and out-of-control some customers can be.
Real dietary requirements, sure. Fake dietary concerns? Eye roll. Weird requests, a-holes, and crappy tips all make the job unpredictable and sometimes funny—but let’s let the waiters tell their (very painful) stories: “Waiters of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous order someone’s placed and how did you deal with it?” asked u/evil_snow_queen:
Here are the 25 best responses. Oh, and PLEASE, tip your very patient, very pandering waiters.
“I worked at a national pizza chain for a while as a manager. We used to get this guy who would order all the time. He was lactose intolerant so couldn’t have cheese, and had severe heartburn when he ate red sauce. He would order an XL Supreme with no sauce and no cheese. I told the guy if i did that, the toppings would just fly all over the box but he didn’t care.
We ended up just baking the dough separate from the toppings and put the toppings in a small wing box on the side for him. Guy said no other pizza place would do that for him and he turned out to be a great repeat customer who always tipped well.”—Aeorik
“Not a waiter but a cook. Had a lady order her tofu scramble burnt. So I cooked it hard. She sent it back because it wasn’t burnt enough. So I cooked it harder. She sent it back again and the waiter said she really wants it burnt. So I got a wok super hot, put too much oil in and proceeded to burn the crap out of it. My chef came by and lost his sh—t.
I explained it to him and he watched me burn just ruin the thing. It was black and smelled like a tire fire. She ate all of it and said we were the only place to get it right. She came back every weekend for it and we had to train new cooks on how to burn the living f—k out of her food for her. I still can’t comprehend why she would eat that.”—Stylinghead
“I once had a guy place his order, and then say “And give me one of those spaghetti appetizers.” I had been working there for a couple of months, and we had no pasta dishes whatsoever on the menu. I politely tried to clarify this, but he wasn’t having it. He just kept getting more irate. He insisted that he eats there all the time, and he always gets the spaghetti appetizer.
Eventually, he gets up from his table, storms over to another one, and points at what he wants on another diner’s table. He was pointing at their coleslaw. And yes, as far as he was concerned, I was still the a—hole for not knowing what he was talking about.”—doodervoog
“The strangest request! When I worked for Starbucks, I helped open the first drive-thru store in the area so it was a learning process for some customers. A lady orders in the drive-thru lane an iced venti vanilla latte with 22 sweet n lows. Me: 22 sweet n lows, like two two?? Customer: sigh yes 22 sweet n lows. Me: OK, please pull up.
Now at the drive-thru we put the extra milk and sugar in the drinks for the customers when in a cafe they would add it on their own. So, the person working the bar looks at me like for real this lady wants 22 packs of sweet n low in her latte? That’s what she said so that’s what we made her. The lady pulls up and pays for her drink. I hand it over and tell her to have a nice day. She stops and says “oh, can I get those sweet n lows now?” I just looked at her and said that they were already in her drink, and boy, was she pissed!! She wanted us to hand her 22 packs of sweet n low in the drive-thru so that she could take them home.”—notsocreativeeither
When I worked at a hibachi/sushi/Japanese place this family came in with an adult son who had some kind of mental disability and only wanted to eat breakfast food. The mom asked if we had bread, we didn’t, she went to the gas station next door and bought bread, and came back and asked me to toast it.
Now, there is no toaster in the restaurant, and I had to explain to the 100% Chinese, barely English-speaking kitchen to cook three eggs rare on one side (sunny side up) and bread medium-rare (toast). It worked out and everybody was happy, but chefs were super confused as to why anyone would want that.”—gypsypanda
“I worked at a pizza parlor, and the most ridiculous request was one that could have been so simple. A lady calls and orders a “small pepperoni pizza with no pepperoni” I clarify and ask her “So just a small cheese?” To which the woman, clearly annoyed by my lack of understanding, says “NO. A small pepperoni with no pepperoni.”—crigsdigs
“I had a woman call me back to the table because I didn’t place her nachos close enough to her. She asked me to push them closer to her. EDIT: There was nothing wrong with her. She was just fat, lazy, and ignorant. Heres some extra icing on the cake. She was in a group of 5 people and when the bill came she said she would take care of it (to the cheers of her friends). $5 tip on $75 check.”—MonkeyInATopHat
“Customer asked for spaghetti with a side of more noodles and extra sauce because they were going to share. So, I said, “you’d like one spaghetti and then an additional order of spaghetti?” They told me I wasn’t getting it and they just wanted extra noodles and some sauce on the side. I told them we would have to charge for extra noodles, and they ended up not wanting it. They somehow thought free spaghetti was a reasonable request.”—llkylej15
“Once I was having a meal with a buddy at Joe’s crab shack. We both got the same thing, a jambalaya dish with pasta, sh—t loads of mini shrimp. My buddy eats through all the pasta, starts going through the rest when the waitress checks on us. Asked me if I would like a drink refill, I say yes. And then my buddy asks ‘Can you refill this with pasta?’ gesturing with his plate. She obliged. Dude got a pasta refill on his meal. I thought it was hilarious.”—bud_hasselhoff
“Had a lady order our filet mignon, when it was brought out to her she said with disgust that she had ordered the filet, not a steak. She proceeded to argue that a filet mignon was a type of baked potato rather than a steak. EDIT: Damn this blew up, and when asked how she wanted it cooked she looked puzzled and said “regular” which I took as meaning medium.”—poopy_shoe