People Who Cheated Share Their ‘How Did Your Affair Start’ Stories (16 Stories)

Affairs: the stuff of made-for-TV movies. The wilder the story, the better. But in reality, affairs aren’t always dramatic or even sexy. Some are sad, others confounding. And some people think affairs have happened when in fact they haven’t.

On Reddit, people are sharing their “how did your affair start” stories, and the tales being told run the gamut.

Whether or not they could translate to TV? Up to you.

1. Not Broken Up After All

“From the other perspective… but: I was seeing this girl for 4 months(let’s call her Sam) that I met while she was working at a bar downtown. We were practically in a relationship but never really had the ‘talk.’ We went on a bunch of dates together, she met my coworkers and I hung out with her and her roommates often. One day I’m over at her place drinking with her and the roomies and towards the end of the night we decide to go into her room to do the deed. Suddenly Sam starts acting really strange and quiet, I ask her if she wants to stop and she says yes so I do and ask her what’s up. She is reluctant to tell me anything so I decide you know what, I’m just gunna leave and we can talk about this later. As I’m walking to my car that’s parked on the street, I’m met at the end of the driveway by a dude that looked familiar. I realized as he got closer that this was Sam’s ex boyfriend that I’ve seen pictures of posted a year before on instagram. As he walks by me he threatened me if I ever came back here. I was a bit of a cocky sh*t and said ‘why the f*ck shouldn’t I come back?’ He then tells me that he knows I’ve been f*cking his girlfriend, to which I said ‘You guys have been broken up since the summer.’ I just left and decided I’d confront Sam about this later. Turns out the ‘ex’ was right and I’d been helping her cheat on her boyfriend for the last 4 months. The most f*cked up part? Her roommates and friends were in on it the whole time…this woman wanted to meet my daughter too! So glad I dodged that bullet.” — triofact34

2. The Neighbor

“My husband’s affair started shortly after we got married. We lived in an apartment complex and all the mailboxes were in the lobby area. I checked the mail while he was at work (like I always did). I opened a card, not paying attention to who it was addressed to. But the front of the card read, ‘I miss you in the morning, I miss you in the evening…” and the inside of the card read,’…but I especially miss you at night.’ And there was a drawing of a woman in bed wearing a negligée. And it was signed, ‘I miss you and love you’ with a woman’s name. So I looked at the envelope and it was addressed to my husband. We had only been married 3 months. So I immediately gathered all of his items and threw them into the hallway. He came home and tried to come into the door but I had the chain lock on it. He was like, ‘what the hell is going on?’ I said, ‘your girlfriend ***** misses you, so we’re over and you can go stay with her,’ and I opened the door wide enough to throw the card and envelope into the hall. About 15 minutes later, there is a knock at my door. It’s my next-door neighbor. I had seen him around but we hadn’t made formal introductions yet. I opened the door and my husband is standing down the hallway. The neighbor says, ‘Hi my name is **** ****, you accidentally got my mail today.’ MY NEIGHBOR HAD THE EXACT FIRST AND LAST NAME AS MY HUSBAND. He said, ‘My wife has been out of town on a business trip, she sent the card to me.’ I said, ‘Bullsh*t!’ and shut the door on him. Five minutes later, there’s another knock at my door. I look to see my next door neighbor again, but this time he’s holding up his driver’s license and the card envelope. His license shows he has the exact name as my husband, and the card envelope has their apartment number on it. At the time, it was pretty f*cking traumatic, but now, 31 years later, my husband thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.” — Margo_Tenenbaum

3. Black Thong

“My wife let a friend borrow a hooded sweatshirt one evening while she had a fire and a few friends over. Her friend washed said hoodie and returned it, my wife rewashes it because she doesn’t like her fabric softener. There was a pair of her friends under wear stuck in the sleeve of the hoodie that came out in our washer machine. I get home from working and she accused me of cheating after a massive fight and me racking my brain she called her friend and confirmed its her black thong…” — lobstarman23

4. Gatorade

“When my wife found a napkin in my pocket and swore it was not her lipstick. I had no idea how it got inside my pocket. After months of her thinking I was cheating, at lunch one day I was eating a sandwich and drinking a red Gatorade. After wiping my mouth with the napkin, I realized it was the same shade as my ‘evidence of an affair’ napkin.” — mikedjb

5. Front Passenger Seat

“Was once accused of cheating. Front passenger seat on my car was moved ‘too close for any guy to sit’ and my then-GF demanded to know who I’d had in my car. I told her it was ‘Chris’, a coworker. She came storming into my company the next day, demanding to see Chris. Imagine her face when she found out Chris was ‘Christopher’, a little person (he stood 4’2″). I milked her apology for a decade.” — PinocchioWasFramed

6. Learning From Dad

“My dad cheated on my mom after my older sister was born. It was rocky for my parents for a few years after that, but ultimately my mom forgave him and they eventually had me. Then around the time I was 10, my dad had another affair, my parents got divorced, and my dad remarried about a year later. I didn’t know any of these details at the time they split up. Last year (I’m 29 now) while having a heart to heart with my sister about something else, she asked me if I ever knew about our dad’s affair and told me everything she knew about it. It really contextualized a lot for me. The larger than average age gap between me and my sister, the strange feelings I eventually recognized as guilt in my dad’s behavior when I would see him, and how truly kick ass my mom was dealing with all that extra baggage while she was raising me as a single parent. Affairs can be extremely painful for everyone involved. I’m proud of the person I am today, and I know my parents’ divorce had a huge impact on me, but I definitely wish that my dad’s affairs had never happened.” — Own-Reputation-3956

7. It Never Happened

“It never did, but I couldn’t convince the ex that it didn’t. So here I am a 42 year old divorced dude trying to start over in the craziest timeline imaginable.” — spautrievas

8. Relationship Troubles

“She started telling me about relationship troubles. We grew closer over time, sharing insecurities and what not. Eventually we developed feelings, on which we could not act. Eventually, those feelings became too strong and we caved. It lasted for 1,5 years – me trying to commit to this new thing we developed, her not completely able to let go. She jumped between me and the other. Eventually I realised my committing to and feeling for her were unhealthy. And I realised (too late) that I didn’t want to be the person that made someone else cheat.” — Trickysocials

9. Back And Forth

“Ugh! I was in such a relationship…she was in an unhappy long distance relationship with her boyfriend and I was her coworker and only friend in a city that was strange to her…I fell head over heels in love with her while she was undecided. We started an on-again-off-again romance while I was fully aware that she was going back and forth between me and him. After 2 years of this back and forth, she moved away to be with him which is when I thought I could finally move on and tried to date but was unsuccessful. She regretted the move and came back to my city and convinced me to get back with her. We got married in a hurried city hall marriage. 3 months later, she regretted it and asked for annulment but it was too late so we divorced. In retrospect, there were a ton of red flags that I shouldn’t have ignored but I did because I was so madly in love with her. I eventually met a woman who fulfills all my desires and more and I couldn’t be happier.” — gigibuffoon

10. Revenge

“Found out she was cheating on me. Decided to cheat on her as an act of ‘revenge.’ It did not make me feel any better, pretty much the exact opposite actually. I just felt like I was a piece of shit as well. It was a very short ‘affair.'” — JAHNOOSKA

11. Hoarders

“I was stuck in a non-physical marriage with a hoarder(rats were living in the dryer, as example) who didn’t keep up with house repairs. Spent 4 months drinking bottled water because the well wasn’t safe without work. Couldn’t get out because I was 20 km from anywhere, was given a car that didn’t run. Coworker usually picked me up for work, or I walked to the closest carpool lot. Cracked under the lonely stress when coworker found me attractive. Turns out my ex was really, really closeted (hence the hoarding and inability to function). I wasn’t running on all cylinders after all that either. He’s got a roommate now, the house is fixed, I’m still with coworker after 10 years and we all get together so often. Prime example of people who really shouldn’t have been married in the first place.” — DaizyJay

12. Too Young

“I was maybe 12 years old. And I told my mom that my best friend and I were having an affair. I thought affair meant fight…” — Gravesmind

13. “Failed To Tell Me”

“So I guess I was just part of it, it wasn’t ‘my’ affair. This was like 12 years ago. I was 19 she was 24 and married, they were in the process of getting a divorce but she sort of failed to tell me they were technically still married. The dude was trying to fix the marriage at the time, which is what I learned eventually so he eventually found out about me and was rightfully pissed but not so much at me but at her. I straight up told him she wears no ring and said she was recently divorced. I felt like shit but the sex was incredible lol, lasted like 6 months and I got out of that whole scenario completely.” — gt35r

13. Band Aid

“The wife of a guitarist in a relatively famous band from the early 2000s met me and I was strung along with the ‘I don’t want to be with him’ promises, building me up into a jealous man that I promised I’d never be by fueling the seriousness of the affair but also sleeping with other men, and conceding that it was ‘cheating’ on ME, never really addressing that we’re doing that, but okay. Was an absolute mindfuck and the whole thing felt very dirty and degrading. They’re not together anymore and she ended up being with one of the four guys she was with, had a kid with him, but I still see that husband out. I guess he doesn’t know. Or he does and too much time has passed to care. I don’t really know him. That sh*t sent me into a spiral of relationship issues that take heavy management. I’ve been ‘the other guy’ a handful of times, but this one really messed me up for a long time.” — Notagoodguy80

14. Shrunken

“She found a tank top in the laundry that wasn’t her size. She threw it at my face, said “I hope she was worth it!” and stormed off. Turns out it was her shirt, that I shrunk, because I’m bad at laundry.” — OriginalDirivity

15. Cuckolding

“My husband spent a few years trying to talk me into cuckolding and I told him I’m not that kind of person and that I wanted love and to feel like I was enough for someone. He wouldn’t stop asking, it’s all he talked about, it ruined our sex life completely, he developed ED and kept suggesting I find someone else. Eventually I did start seeing other people and the rule was ‘never have any feelings for other people’ but that’s basically the ONLY rule put forward. Anyway, two times I fell for someone who told me that I was all they wanted and I was enough for them. He noticed when I started having feelings (or I confessed) and he demanded that I stop but I didn’t. Both of those men were lying completely and seeing other women while telling me that. I initiated a divorce. I don’t want to piece together happiness through various people. All I wanted was to just be in one relationship with one man who loves me and now I’m old and I’ll probably never have it.” — MomsSpecialFriend

16. You’ll Die Alone

“I was told ‘your lucky that you have me, if you ever leave me you’ll die alone because no one would want you’ so I had this burning desire to prove her wrong. Ended up sleeping with her boss.” — Drjohnson93

Featured Image: Pexels

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.