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Marriage Counselors Share The Weird, Petty Reasons A Couple Has Made An Appointment

Family and marriage counselors do a lot of heavy lifting. They don’t just have to deal with one person’s issues, they have to deal with a whole family’s issues, seeing the complex ways that people relate to each other and how problems arise. While these counselors have doubtless saved tons of marriages and parent-child relationships, there are sometimes problems that even they can’t address.

On Reddit, marriage counselors are sharing the “stupidest” reasons people have made appointments with them—and let’s just say there are some doozies.

But seriously, there are no stupid reasons to seek therapy. Something that may seem “stupid” is usually indicative of larger problems that might be able to be addressed and solved. So why struggle when you can get help? In other words, arguments about dishwashing are never really about dishwashing. 

1.

“My specialty is children and families, but during the pandemic I was assigned whatever came in because it has been super busy…One lady called and spoke with me first about how her husband was horrible at communication and never listened to her. She asked for a couples session. As soon as she ambushed her husband with a ‘there is a therapist on the line that wants to speak with you’ her husband screamed: ‘YOU CALLED A THERAPIST BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO PAIN THE HOUSE PURPLE?’ She wanted me to convince him to paint the house purple, and like any normal human who sees colors, he refused to listen to her.” — random_girl_me

2. 

“It’s always the dishes. I don’t see couples anymore because I cannot have one more conversation with adult human beings about the various philosophies of dish washing.” — monkeylion

3. 

“Couldn’t decide on which chicken to buy for their chicken farm.” — warpus

4. 

“I had a pimp and one of his sex workers come to see me because they were having jealousy issues. They were legally married and he was unhappy with how she couldn’t ‘leave work at work.'” — holtsm7

5. 

“Nothing is really stupid in making the decision to come in for a couples session. But the most startling session I’ve had was when the couple had barely sat down and one of them informed the other that the relationship was over, turned to me and said, ‘thank you for supporting (partner) through this’ and left the office.” — targaryenmegan

6. 

“Not a counselor, but my friend is one, and a couple came to her (unofficially) because the wife wouldn’t tell her hubby when her mum was coming over because she knew he’d be ‘sick’ or ‘out’ that day.” — StBlaschek

7. 

“I had a woman come in for couples counseling. Over the phone she reported that her boyfriend (with the same last name- very confusing) was distant and was refusing to listening. When the session started it was just her that showed up. She went on and on about how absent he was and how he refused to see the progress she had been making in her life. It turns out the “boyfriend” was an ex who had a restraining order against her and lived halfway across the country from her. She was delusional and was receiving treatment for her mental health issues. She just could not get her thinking away from him and legally changed her last name to his because it would mean they would be together. She figured couples counseling was the way to work our their relationship issues.” — MrsAHole

8. 

“My uncle and his wife, reasoning:she lost a frying pan.”  — DangDog_crapper_god

9. 

“My cousin went to counseling because her husband cuts the sandwich straight inside of diagonal. When I first heard it, I thought it was a joke.” — crusnic_zero

10. 

“A lot of couples schedule counseling for legitimate reasons like ‘communication issues’ but then it will come out that the real reason IS something stupid and they don’t even realize it. I had a couple married 25 years who were struggling to connect and it turned out they were resentful of each other because they both wanted to spend various holidays with their families of origin. Never talked about it, never mentioned it, just both simmered in silent resentment for 25 years. It was resolved so quickly once it was unearthed.” — kcmullan