Kate Hackett
I am single and I am completely comfortable doing MANY things alone but raising a family sure as hell isn’t one of them. Hats off to any single parents out there because for ME, lord, I’d need a teammate.
But imagine the frustration when one partner isn’t all in…
Australian mom of four, Constance Hall, wrote in a Facebook post that went viral, that when that happens, “All you’re left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer…”
Other women quickly seized on the post and sympathized with it, frustrated with their male counterparts and their lack of consideration. Let’s read what she had to say.
Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing “preach Queen”, someone said to me “if you want help you need to be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers.”
WTF? You have to make lists for your man? Talk about doing all the emotional labor.
So I tried that, asking.. specifics..
“Can you take the bin out?”
“Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years”
“Can you go to woolies? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond.”
And yeah, she was right… shit got done.
But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..
Yeah, no, nagging sucks.
And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking…?
NOTHING.
Again.
Totally been there with live-in boyfriends. Why the heck can’t they… do anything?
And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write fucking lists.. We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.
Just do it.
Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house. Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet?
Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day?
Is one of you carrying the weight?
IS ONE OF YOU. CARRYING. THE WEIGHT. Say it so many times, guys, because that’s a question you need to ask yourself.
Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists….
All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..
It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That’s your job.
Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.
Can you relate? So many commenters could!
