Patricia Grisafi
The COVID-19 pandemic has really messed with a lot of peoples’ weddings and family planning. Events put on hold once, then twice. Dream weddings abandoned for small ceremonies with lots of distance. Folks nervous about getting pregnant because of health concerns but also not happy about waiting to make a baby.
It’s a rough time.
One Redditor was supposed to get married but delayed the wedding because of COVID—and then his fiancé got pregnant.
No big, right? Well, it turns out he’s not really happy with this situation.
The OP says that he and his fiancé were supposed to be married in June, but their wedding was canceled because of the pandemic. Since they are both in their 30s, they wanted to plan to try for a baby right away.
When the wedding didn’t happen, that became a problem for the OP:
“I wanted to delay that when the wedding was canceled since I didn’t want her to be pregnant and unmarried, but she begged me to stick with the original plan due to our age and medical history and promised that if and when she got pregnant we’d have a civil ceremony.”
“She got pregnant our first cycle but didn’t want to have the ceremony right away. She said there was no rush. By August she had decided she instead wanted to do a small ceremony in December at her parents’ house and didn’t want a civil ceremony because she wanted our ceremony to be ‘real.’ Fine.”
The OP explains that his fiancé’s original dress would not work for a December wedding because she would be almost 30 weeks pregnant by then, so…
“She had to find another that would work with her stomach. I haven’t seen it, but when I asked her how it works, she told me it is form-fitted. I did ask her to clarify just to be sure I didn’t have the wrong idea, and she told me that the dress isn’t meant to hide her stomach. It is meant to complement it.”
“I am already uncomfortable with this situation, and I have family coming that are not happy with the way we’ve done things. I can deal with that, but I think this is too much. It’s a bad look IMO that makes us look tacky.
She, on the other hand, says it’s fine and not a problem. I told her my thoughts and how I felt her flaunting her pregnancy while we’re getting married would be a bad look. I said that wearing a dress like that would be tacky and begged her to choose something less form fitting.
That really upset her, so now I am the a**hole because I, in her words, am prioritizing the feelings of my family over her feelings and shaming her for being pregnant and treating her like an embarrassment.”
“My intent wasn’t to hurt her or make her feel like I am ashamed of her, but I want her to be reasonable and sensitive to the situation. I did offer to do a separate ceremony later after the baby is born, if we had eloped, but she declined; so I don’t think she can say I didn’t try to accommodate her and I don’t feel like my ask is unreasonable given how flexible I’ve been until now.”
Sure does sound like someone feels ashamed! What do Redditors think?
“You shouldn’t be having a kid if you’re ashamed of your fiancé’s baby bump. She shouldn’t have to hide it or wear a tent because you haven’t finished growing up. How the hell did you think calling her trashy would go over remotely less than terrible,” said Facepalmawall.
“Just to pile on to a beautifully made point: she’s f**king pregnant. It takes a HUGE toll on the body, and can make a woman feel less than sexy sometimes. It’s her wedding day. She wants to feel beautiful. And if this dress makes her feel beautiful and strong, then by all means, flaunt that sh*t. Don’t try and tell her she can’t look the way she wants to look when what her body is going through is already rough. A**hole,” said SexyJellyBeansofLove.
“YTA it’s not going to be a secret that she’s pregnant. There’s absolutely no reason to hide it. You can grow a pair and tell any family who feel a certain kind of way that it’s 2020 and y’all can have whatever kind of family you want in any order that you want. If they don’t like it they don’t need to attend the wedding,” noted Pikachinito.
“’I didn’t want her to be pregnant and unmarried.’ You know this is the 21st century right? Women can have babies without being married. Also, as long as she is comfortable in what she’s wearing, it really does not matter what you think, she is giving you the child you both agreed you wanted, man the f**k up and cherish her like the goddess she is,” said You_just_never_know.
“It’s her body, she should be able to wear whatever she feels comfortable wearing and you should be telling your family that ‘doesn’t like the way you guys did things’ to GTFO if they don’t like it. I assume you were present at the conception of the child, it’s not like you didn’t agree with this plan right? You should support her in whatever she chooses. Why would you want her to spend the day of your wedding feeling ashamed by her own damn fiancé for being pregnant,” explained [deleted].
Indeed, it would seem like this OP needs to deal with the fact that he intentionally got his fiancé pregnant, that it’s fine, and that she deserves to look and feel absolutely amazing on their wedding day.
Lead image: Pexels
