Tinder is a toxic pool of hopelessness that I personally cannot stay away from. Dating outside of apps has become virtually impossible, so it’s become the go-to for people seeking romantic connection. That wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t the go-to for misogynistic psychopaths, too. The amount of abuse that women often get from dudes on these apps is unreal, and it’s especially hard that many others don’t get that.
A woman named Ebonie Sanderson decided she wasn’t going to suffer in silence over abuse she received from a guy named Tom.
Ebonie posted his picture as well as a screen recording of the voice memos he sent her in which he calls her a “fat f—ing pig,” abusive Instagram messages and insulting Snapchats.
“This is what happens when you say NO or call out a man for being disrespectful!!!” she wrote in the caption, “You apparently earn yourself the right to get verbally abused and fat-shamed on more than one platform. No I didn’t ‘ask for it’ and yes, I’m entitled to change my mind and tell someone I’m not interested anymore because I feel uncomfortable and intimidated by ones aggressive and forceful nature.”
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⚠️ WARNING: CYBER BULLYING, HARASSMENT, SEXISM, FATPHOBIA AND MISOGYNISTIC BEHAVIOUR ALERT!!! ***UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE 1. An email from Tom’s CEO has been received confirming that he has been fired, effective immediately. The CEO did the right thing and acted quickly, so I kindly ask you to stop emailing them. ***2. WARNING there are now well over 20 women that have come forward and shared their similar experience/encounters of abuse and harassment from Tom. My dm’s are a safe place if this is also you. This is what happens when you say NO or call out a man for being disrespectful!!! You apparently earn yourself the right to get verbally abused and fat shamed on more than one platform. No I didn’t “ask for it” and yes, I’m entitled to change my mind and tell someone I’m not interested anymore because I feel uncomfortable and intimidated by ones aggressive and forceful nature. The worst part about this attack, is the fact that I felt the need to be nice when turning him down, telling him he’s good looking and will find someone else for the night and then apologising for feeling uncomfortable!!!! THAT IS A BIG PROBLEM If anyone comes across this man on dating apps or social media, please report him. I managed to video call and he answered and appeared to in fact be this very man in the picture… “Tom”. All I can say is what a privileged misogynistic PIG. I will never change my weight for anyone else but MYSELF!!!
She added, “The worst part about this attack, is the fact that I felt the need to be nice when turning him down, telling him he’s good looking and will find someone else for the night and then apologizing for feeling uncomfortable!!!! THAT IS A BIG PROBLEM.”
The voice memos are actually unhinged. In them, Tom says, “You’re actually a fat f—ing pig. You know that? Thanks. You did waste my time. You’re f—ing ugly.”
And: “Your a– looks okay and you would have been one f—. You would have been just one f— and that would have been it because you’re a disgusting fat pig… Look, you don’t have issues if you call out someone for being a s— person. You’re a piece of s—, and you’re fat and you’re ugly.”
He continued, “You’re ugly on the inside and the outside and I say that to s— people. Good people I treat well…I turned down a chick tonight so yeah, I choose not to masturbate. I choose not to c– a lot. You just called me ‘hot’ 5 minutes ago… I don’t struggle getting laid and I especially don’t need a 4 like you to get laid.”
Yes, nothing like a guy ranting about how much he doesn’t need you for sex to convince you he isn’t angry.
Ebonie later added an update to her post, writing, “WARNING there are now well over 20 women that have come forward and shared their similar experience/encounters of abuse and harassment from Tom. My dm’s are a safe place if this is also you.”
A woman named Erin Hinds posted about Tom as well, after recognizing him from Ebonie’s story:
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⭐⭐TW: ASSAULT AND TINDER CREEP…. EDIT: Here is the link to the article by daily mail https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8776897/Tinder-creep-called-woman-fat-pig-rejected-outed-abusing-manager.html So most of you have probably seen the daily mail post. I met this guy on tinder A month ago. And when I said we don't have chemistry, this is what happened. 2020, and men like this still are around and get to walk free. This is disgusting and horrendous behaviour. I feel absolutely horrific and violated I ever did anything. He was nice, until told no. Since I posted about this I've had 3 girls come forward and tell me they had similar. In London, as well as Sydney. So he has been everywhere. How has tinder not stopped Tom yet!? It's time to put an end to this misogynistic bullshit. #feminist #assult #tindercreep #disgusting #tommcguirk #tom
And yet another update from Ebonie claims that Tom has been fired.
The Daily Mail Australia reports that Tom’s company owner, Dave Scott said, “I had a read-through of the contract and validated that it was an act of serious misconduct and that he was no longer fit for employment with us. There is just no place in our workplace for someone who treats women with that amount of disrespect.”
He added, “I have four daughters aged between 10 months and 9-years-old… so that was one of the first things I thought about, and my blood boiled to imagine someone ever speaking to one of my little girls like that.”
Consequences: rare, but extremely satisfying.