In a poop-tastic wedding disaster, a bride using detox shakes to de-bloat ended up having uncontrollable diarrhea and soiling her $15,000 gown.
The story was posted by an event planner who had worked on the “shabby chic” wedding in a Reddit thread titled “Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? What happened?” The event planner writes:
“I was speaking to the caterer when I happened to glance over and see the most curious blend of expressions pass over the brides face, and she frantically waved down my assistant. A few moments later, my headset beeped on, and my assistant said ‘we have an issue.'”
“It turns out that the bride had gambled on a fart and lost in a big way.”
“Now, the bride was wearing a huge, full ball gown, with a fitted, bones strapless top in a sort of embellished mesh. Underneath, she had a shaper garment and hoops and slips […] The bride, it turns out, had been using some health shakes in an attempt to fix last minute bloating. This had mixed poorly with the cocktails from earlier, and she had eaten a fairly decent breakfast. The substance that had come out of her body as a result defied explanation.”
“It was slimy, oily even, with stringy bits and the consistency of hair gel. Not only had it been a rather profound accident, but the smell was unrivaled. Generally, a substance no human body should emit. But the thing that set it over the edge was that the shaper the bride wore was a latex deal that came down over the thighs and up to her bra. Waterproof, the poo had just sort of filled it, like a water balloon of horror.”
The bride was now anxious that she needed to stay on schedule and have her first dance with her new husband — but after the event planner and her assistant attempted to help clean her up, the diarrhea had gotten everywhere. In the bride’s nail beds. On her legs. Everywhere.
“The dance was a choreographed affair, and as the groom spun his bride around, hand on her waist, he is squishing the poo up the insides of the waist trainer, up and out of the back waistband. To our horror, we watch as an oily stain spread across the mid back of the gown. As we are still cringing from this, the groom sets his hand firmly in the middle of the poo stain.”
After the dance and cake cutting, the planner and her assistant attempts to help clean up the bride.
“She walked in to find me in dish gloves and a poncho, like American Psycho, The five minutes, I was sponging down a sobbing, naked bride, while I questioned every life decision that lead to this point.”
They get the bride dressed again in a clean(er) but still smelly dress, give her a Xanax, and get her back out to her party. Because they are PROFESSIONALS.
“The groom was a sport, never directly saying anything, but asking if we could cancel the garter toss as he didn’t really want to go under her skirt,” the planner writes.
Honestly, the groom might be the hero of this story. Throughout, he just goes with the flow.
Have you ever attended a wedding that went spectacularly off the charts?
More wedding disaster stories:
- Woman Won’t Speak To Fiancé Because He Used Wedding Money On Dog’s Surgery
- Bridesmaid’s Utterly Insane Email Setting Rules For Bachelorette Party Is A Gift To Us All
- 17 Real-Life Bridezilla Stories That’ll Make You Want To Avoid Marriage Forever
- ‘Edgy’ Couple Sends Out World’s Cringiest Wedding Invitations Full Of Cuss Words