Patricia Grisafi
We’ve all been there — a bad first date. If you’re lucky, it’s just a basic bad date. Maybe boring conversation, incompatibility—but nothing terrifying or gross. Unfortunately, there are bad first dates that are quite honestly astounding in their sheer horribleness.
On Reddit, folks are sharing stories of the worst first dates they’ve ever had.
And let’s just say that rape threats and physical violence are weirdly common. Don’t do that. And if someone does that to you, just nope the f*ck out of that date.
1. Rape Threats
“Not my story, but a friend’s which has always creeped me out. She met a guy through an app and they got on well chatting so decided to meet up. They had a nice lunch, and then went for a walk around the city. When they passed through an alley, he stopped and said ‘you look so good, I really want to rape you right now.’ She thought she’d misheard and asked him to repeat it, and he doubled down, ‘I want to throw you down and rape you right now!’ She told him how f*cked up that was and said she was going home, and headed for the train. He caught up and said he was only joking and walked with her the rest of the way. Just before the train arrived he said it AGAIN, and that it was her fault for looking so good. She told him they were done and not to call her again. She got texts the rest of the week telling her that she was being immature, couldn’t take a joke, and was probably a whore anyway…” — MoogleMoomins
2. Attached To Her Phone
“She stuck her chewing gum under the dining table and started looking at her phone.” — tristanbrotherton
3. Took A Crap In The Street
“Legitimately when she said she needed to take a wee as we walked down a back alley to the next bar. She pulled her jeans down, TOOK A SH*T behind a bin, then searched in the bin and wiped with a sheet of newspaper. I was totally infatuated with her after working with her for a few months and in 30 seconds it disappeared, fast.” — 88meek
4. Toenail Clippings
“Went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. And it wasn’t one recent clipping. It was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.” — Amos_Moses83
5. Cat Person
“She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays. Not give them any vet care and was planning on keeping a recent litter. I love cats…I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.” — FluffyProphet
6. “I NEVER Date Scorpios.”
“First date we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied ‘Scorpio.’ She leaned over the table and slapped me clean & hard across the face. Naturally I was shocked and confused, I mouthed ‘What…?’ she firmly says, ‘I NEVER date Scorpios.’ I went to the bathroom, came back – she had gone, and paid for everything.” — TheBlackRoomba
7. “My Friends And I Like To Pass Girls Around”
“This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed he said something along the lines of, ‘So you know in order for this to work you’re gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.’ I was pretty dumbfounded and after a bit of stuttering I told him I didn’t think it was going to work, asked for a to-go box and my portion of the check, and noped the f*ck outta there.” — Kultaren
8. Blind Date
“Went to pick up my blind date. She opened the door and looked at me. ‘Ew’ I looked at her and said ‘Yeah, I agree’ and turned on my heel and left. Total date time Less than 5 minutes.” — Outlander56
9. Tried To Drown His Ex’s Dogs
“This is meeting someone from an online dating app…He turned up with pupils the size of dinner plates, and super erratic. He said he’d forgotten his wallet so I got the first round. We were on the way to the second pub to meet his mates so they could lend him some money. For the walk there he spoke absolute garbage/nonsense non stop but ended with how he tried to drown his exes chihuahuas in a pool. Near the pub he said he had to answer whoever was calling him on the phone (at this point we were 30 minutes into the date and already going to the next pub, he’d downed his drink in about 3 seconds) whilst he stood there on the phone I said I would meet him at the pub (everything was all in close proximity) but instead walked past it and ran all the way home.” — RetroWhiskers
10. Here’s My Dungeon!
“Invited me inside while he finished getting ready, no biggie. Once inside he insisted that I let him show me his ‘dungeon.’ Dudes apartment was pretty empty, minus a t.v and couch, but his bedroom was kitted out. He then wanted now uncomfortable me to see if the shackles on his bed fit me. Thankfully, I had set up for a friend to call me within the first 30 mins of the date and I faked an emergency.” — IRLperson
11. Critic
“I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan. Definitely the moment he said, ‘My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.’ Annnnnnndddddd that’s when I bounced.” — guacnchip
12. “I Joined The Military To Kill People”
“On a first date with a military guy. He spent a large portion of the date talking about why the strippers in Toronto were better than the strippers where we lived. To change the topic, I asked him if he did any volunteer work with the military overseas and he said ‘NO! I joined the military to kill people not help people!’ I got my bill, chugged my beer, and left as fast as I could.” — ldid
13. Dodgeball Violence
“He invited me and a friend to play dodgeball with a group of folks I’ve never met. We’re having an ok time, he’s paying more attention to his friends but that’s fine because I’ve got my friend to keep me occupied. We’re hanging out in the parking lot before the first game is about to start when out of nowhere he grabs a ball and throws it at my crotch as hard as he can. This motherf*cker screams ‘wham, bam, right in the clam!’ I immediately turn to my friend and ask her if she’s ready to leave. I say goodbye to him and his friends. Immediately come home to a grip of texts about how ‘immature’ I was behaving.” — Monpetitvulcan616
14. Drunk As A Skunk
“1pm lunch date and she was drunk as a skunk. She invited me back to her place, where she said her 2 year old son wouldn’t even notice. I noped out and called her a cab home. I still feel bad for the son years later.” — Wrexis
15. You’re On Camera
“Great chats online, decided to meet in person. He’s got a blue tooth headset with a little LED light that shows it’s on. He keeps it on during drinks. I work up the nerve to ask if he can take off the headset while we’re eating dinner. With pride and complete confidence he says, ‘Don’t worry! You totally have my full attention. This isn’t a phone headset, it’s a camera.'” — anarchypretzel
16. Jokes About Stalking
“The fact that within 10 minutes of meeting him he started making sexual comments and ‘joking’ about following me home so he could stalk me if I rejected him. I got out with the help of a bartender who let me leave out the back door.” — VaginalSharknado
17. Expensive Dinner
“Had a first date with a girl who insisted we go to a really expensive place, where she ordered a $25 dollar appetizer, $45 steak and a $15 drink. She wouldn’t put down her phone, kept taking calls and answering texts. The waitress noticed and motioned for me from behind her. I excused myself, and the waitress had separate bills all made up and asked if I wanted to pay my share and leave her at the table. I said, ‘That would be wonderful!’ So I did.” — ELPwork
Featured Image: Unsplash
