Aimeé
11. Elevator person
Elevators won’t free fall if you snap a single cable. Also, you can’t get out of the escape hatch in the ceiling of the cab – it’s locked on the outside.
Safety tip – if you do get trapped in an elevator, just sit still and use the elevator phone to call for help. Trying to escape or pry doors open can get you killed. There is no danger to you at all inside the elevator. —WSWOP
12. Forensic Scientist
Almost anything forensically related
No, you can’t enhance crappy surveillance video
No, DNA tests don’t take 30 minutes
No, DNA tests don’t magically “ding” and display a name, home address, phone number, etc.
I could go on and on, the effect of the way tv shows/movies effect everyone’s perception of forensic science is staggering and can cause significant problems when courtroom testimony/evidence doesn’t line up with a juries perception of how it should work. —Maximilian156
13. Pilot
So much with aircraft. The commercial ones are not that maneuverable. Physics still applies when you’re in the air! You can’t just jump in any military jet and know how to fly it (or even start it up). Test flights of experimental aircraft are incredibly boring and entirely scripted and not just some hot shot pilot in the seat yanking the stick around. —gt0163c
14. Psych Ward Staff
Psychiatric hospitals showing patients just sitting and laughing hysterically or doing any sort of stereotypically “crazy” behaviour. People with mental illness are usually fairly normal in behaviour, they’re just going through a tough time. I’ve worked in a psych ward for 2 years now, and have never, ever seen anyone act like that, apart from one patient who eventually admitted to faking psychosis.
Also, the whole thing of immediately sedating/restraining patients who get upset is bullshit. Staff are trained to verbally de-escalate. Restraint is used when that fails. Seclusion is used when that fails. Chemical restraints (sedatives) are used if seclusion fails. I have never seen mechanical restraints used. Every time we do a physical restraint, there are tonnes of forms and procedures to follow, so it’s never done as casually as it is in fiction. —thebeastwhatsqueaks
15. Beautician
Anything beauty related: if an actress is “doing her makeup”, she is brushing her face randomly with a clean brush. If someone is being waxed, its extremely painful and they don’t get vaselined nipples (looking at you 40 y/o Virgin) and aloe vera afterwards, which is cruel. —efinitelymy1account
16. Gambler
“I call your X and raise you Y” is not a valid bet. As soon as you say the words “I call” you have called, that is it, you don’t get to add anything too it. This is to prevent people fishing for extra information by seeing what the person’s reaction is to the first part before adding the second. The worst part is that it is such a well known trope that I can almost guarantee that I’ll have to explain this at least once every time a new player comes into a game I’m hosting. —TheWhite2086
17. Burglar??
1 in about 20 lockpicking scenes in movies get it right. All the others are completely stupid and could be avoided with a 5 minute google search. To lockpick you use a pick and a tension bar, not two picks and definitely not one pick alone. —KoogLarousse
18. Medical Personnel
CPR. Anything medical, but DEFINITELY CPR.
Actual, proper, effective CPR is hard fucking work. You need to compress the chest 1/3-1/2 of the way, 120bpm, straight elbows, using your bodyweight as force behind your arms. It takes so much out of you that you need to rotate compressors every two minutes in order for it to be effective. The patient rarely comes back, even with advanced support in the way of drugs, defibrillation, etc, and definitely isn’t conscious, coherent, and walking around immediately after CPR. Many re-arrest because CPR only buys you time to fix the problem that killed your patient. It doesn’t put lost blood back in the system, it doesn’t fix multi organ failure, it only buys time. And at a very expensive price.
Most shows have namby pamby vague pats on the chest, far too slow, with the compressor stopping every two seconds to sob at the dead person until the force of their emotion causes them to miraculously be healed of the injury or illness that caused them to die. Then the immediately stagger upright, NEVER re-arrest, and are usually able to proceed in a relatively useful capacity. Ha.
A lot of other medical stuff is extremely poorly researched, or outright wrong. People using stethoscopes without the earpieces in their ears, the wrong end of an IV line taped to the patient, people walking off incapacitating wounds…but CPR bugs me most of all. —TheFeralBookworm
19. HVAC
I do commercial heating and air conditioning, when people crawl through pristine shiney duct work its hilarious. Duct work is typically lined in commercial buildings to stop it from sweating and damled the sound and it filthy, dusty and mold ridden —ICanDuThisAllDay
20. Real Estate
Any house flipping show grossly misrepresents the ease of house flipping and the numbers.
It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the current product, but in the past it was quite common for those shows to completely ignore holding costs like property taxes, insurance, lawncare, utilities, etc. These are costs that accrue while your house is being rehabbed and while it is being listed on the market. Those costs should be factored in when calculating the profit of your flip. It isn’t simply Sale Price – Purchase Price + Rehab Costs = Profit. You have to factor in holding costs and any other transactional costs that occur at the sale.
As a result, you have so many clueless people who are trying to flip houses because they think it is so easy on TV.—kukukele
