Masha
Sometimes, I’ll think back to certain things I did growing up and have the sudden urge to throw myself into a body of water. This feeling intensifies when I think back to my middle/high school crushes and all the dumb stuff I did to try to look “cool” in order to impress really dumb boys. It was rough. But it also happens to the best of us, the worst of us, and everyone in between.
This was perfectly exemplified by u/Mea05cer when he recently asked, “What was the dumbest thing you ever did to try and impress a girl or guy?” and the responses range from cringey to super-cringey to bordering on physically painful.
1.
Tried to backflip from a 5m diving board, there was no flipping involved, just me falling on my back into a pool from 5m high.
Sh*t didn’t feel good, don’t know which one was more bruised, my back or my ego…
2.
Take up smoking in high school.
Didn’t get the guy and it took 15 years for me to quit smoking. Haven’t been a smoker for almost 7 years now. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I have done.
3.
I tried to do a backflip. I’ve never actually done a backflip before, not even on a trampoline. I actually would up just jumping backwards and hitting my head hella hard on the ground, and then I woke up and threw up a bunch. If she ever had a thing for me (which all my friends said she did), it was gone that day.
4.
Not really dumb, but kinda funny to look back on now. I wasn’t good at sports, but I was fairly quick, so i joined the track team to impress a girl.
Turns out the girl wasn’t impressed by runners, but I did end up going to state in the 100m dash and placing 2nd.
5.
Ran into a busy road and picked up a hedgehog. Wasn’t run over, but my hands stung for a week.
6.
Tried to razor scooter down the steepest hill around. Crashed into the back of a funeral hearse and shattered the back window.
There was a body inside and the family was outside waiting to either go to the cemetery or take the coffin inside.
I got up, covered in blood and glass, grabbed my scooter and hobbled away to the nearest alleyway.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) February 1, 2019
7.
Learned all the words to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back
8.
I was abroad in Dominican Republic, they had a dance competition on a stage, anyone could enter and it had around 200 people watching. I was about 9-10 ish and spotted a cute girl who must’ve been around 14-15…
So obviously I decided the best way to get her attention was to get up on stage and dance my heart out. Queue 3 minutes of awkward shuffling, while maintaining constant eye contact with that girl, and horrified/queasy looks from my parents.
The coordinator cut me off early by pretending the speaker stopped working. I got a pity clap 🙁
9.
Embarrassing to admit but the only time I truly tried to impress a girl was in primary school when I was about 10 or 11, I would swear when she was near and always gave the impression I didn’t give a f**k.
Backfired though, she just ended up thinking I had anger and behavioural issues😅
10.
I made sure I was the one to return her jacket when she forgot it at school. When I gave it back to her the next morning she blamed me for stealing it, we didn’t end up together.
For the people that were wondering, I did not steal the jacket.
11.
The guy I was seeing went on a vacation with his family for 2 weeks, and I had the key to his place to feed his cat.
While he was gone, I painted his bathroom. He thought it was weird, but seemed mostly ok with it.
But it worked…he married me in October.
12.
Ended up watching 13 reasons why because she said it was “like the best show ever”
P.S.- it wasn’t.
13.
Well…When I first got with my (now husband) I wanted a change so I dyed my hair jet black. I’m very, very white. I don’t f**king know why, but I used the boxed dye on my eyebrows too!
I looked like a f**king freak and I thought it was so cute and he’d love it. What the f**k is wrong with me.
14.
I wore her super small hoodie a whole school day that also had a really strong perfume smell. Even got genuinely pissed at my friend when he jokingly tried to take it from me.
15.
Got my nipple pierced. (I’m a guy.)
16.
Watch TV shows, then pretend to like them because they did. I never want to think about Supernatural ever again.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) February 1, 2019
17.
On a 4th of July date after going out to dinner, I took her out on the lake in a canoe to watch the fireworks. It was awesome.
Young macho me, of course, turned down her offer of help with a large canoe and I manhandled that thing like it was nothing. Put her in it while it was on the grass and continued manhandling it to show off just how strong I was.
The next morning i had to call in to work sick because my back muscles were so strained I couldn’t get out of bed. My back was sore for over a week!
18.
I was a teenager and we my crush walked up next to me while I was going through my bad, the sun was in my eyes and I had a crazy thought that having the sun in my eyes would make me look beautiful. He walked away after two seconds and I had a black spot in my eye for two days.
19.
I was about 14 and met this dime who was vegan. She was cool and punk and did I mention she was a dime? Anyway when she told me she was vegan I told her I used to be but now I’m bulimic. Needless to say I wasn’t sure what being bulimic meant at the time.
20.
I was about 12 years old and riding my bike home from high school when I saw a pack of pretty girls ahead of me, like 5 years older. This stretch of road meant I had to ride on the pavement, so I thought I’d be cool and overtake them by dropping down into the road and then jumping back up the curb once I passed them.
Well, I almost died that day. My determination to impress the girls overtook the part of my brain that deals with logic and I severely miscalculated the jump. I skidded against the curb and it bucked me out in to the middle of the road into oncoming traffic. I scrambled to get back onto the pavement and my bike flew clean off the floor and I was propelled into a bush.
Goal achieved: I overtook the girls. And they did come over to help and called me cute when I started crying, so I took it as a win. Haven’t been on a bike since, though.
21.
i lied and said i had experience in journalism (because i didn’t think we’d have anything except a brief encounter) when i’d actually only taken one class in college. our first date he took me with to report on a local clash between police and citizens and i got tear gassed and robbed.
22.
I vaguely remember banging my head against a school desk to show my tolerance to pain
23.
When I was 14, I read the entire Twilight series that she lent me, then she started dating someone else shortly after ;_;
24.
I tried to do a flying sidekick on this upright punching bag, but my pants were too tight, so I just fell and ripped my pants at the same time. The girls we were with laughed, and then I got a cab home.
25.
Got a tattoo to impress a girl in my psych class. It did nothing and now I have a piece of sh*t piece by a guy named Philly Steve on my leg forever. Call me if you see this, Ashley.
