Trending

Men Are Responding To Women’s, Umm, “Adult” Questions That They’ve Always Been Afraid To Ask

11. What would you relate being kicked in the balls to, to a non-ball haver? 

There are multiple stages to getting kicked in the nuts.

Step 1: Did that just happen? Sure it sounds weird but there’s a few second delay where your mind has not caught up to the damage your junk has just sustained. Worry not though that moment of ignorance is quickly coming to a close.

Step 2: The pain! It comes as a wave or a flood or a tsunami. Imagine a charlie horse in your leg. Now move it between your legs and it wants to rip your body in two length wise. There’s no way to move to stretch out that muscle pain it just goes and goes and goes.

Step 3: The focus: Your mind has gone blank. There’s no rational thought just pain. It radiates outward. You bring your legs in involuntarily as a defense mechanism. Your intestines are in knots due to sympathy pain. Your diaphragm tightens and you can’t get in a breath. If you just recently ate your stomach might turn itself out. You see spots.

Step 4: The Storm Ebbs: Your pain has plateaued. If no permanent damage is done the waves start to fade. At about the 1 minute mark you can have a thought again and at the 5 minute mark you can probably walk normally.

Step 5: Aftershocks: your body doesn’t let you forget this oh hell now. For the next few hours or even days you get a brief shock of electricity in your balls. Pain from 0 to 10 and back to 0 in a second or two.

Step 6: the memory fades: like giving birth the brain has defense mechanism to hide this pain. Because if it didn’t you’d never go outside again. So as the days and months go by you forget how extremely painful that moment in your life ways and move on. —KrispyKreme725

 

12. Sometimes we girls think we’re just going to do number one, but we’ve also done number two before we know it. Obviously, this doesn’t happen to guys because you can pee standing up. How is that possible? Or does it happen sometimes and you’re just really good at hiding it?

Lol now I’m imaging loads of guys sh*tting their pants at urinals.

In my experience it never happens. Number 2s don’t happen unless we are sitting down unless you’ve been holding one in for a really really long time. —macaroniinapan

13. Have you guys ever tried to suck yourselves off?? Like is that something you’d do if you could???

Most guys aren’t flexible enough.. We know because we’ve tried. Don’t deny it, fellas.—GWindborn

In my experience, if feels much more like sucking a d*ck than getting sucked. So no, don’t do it. —chikenjoe17

14. I never want to ask because I am afraid I will be put on a list, but I have 2 young boys and wonder—does the penis become “adult” overnight, or does it happen gradually, without the kid noticing the changes?

Like most changes of puberty, it’s pretty gradual. I didn’t really notice it changing, until one day I just realized “hey, it’s bigger!”.

The exception to the “puberty changes are gradual” rule, of course, is the voice. It can be pretty abrupt, even if there is a period of awkward, raspy squeakiness for a lot of guys. —YVRJon

I personally never noticed any change as it’s like height. You dont suddenly notice that you’ve grown a foot over the past 3 years. You just find out one day when you need that extra foot lol —Testifiable

askreddit confessions

15. How much are guys (on average) into dominant girls?

Good luck collecting honest data across a large and representative population. Personally, I’d love to let a woman drive more. I love it when I find it, and I’ve struggled to ask for it because I’ve found that a lot of the women I’ve been into are wanting me to dom them, and because it feels a bit culturally unmasculine. At the end of the day though, I think it’s the most empowered thing to just own what you like, and to not care whether it’s manly or whatever. So if you’re into being more dominant (whether you meant pick a restaurant or flog the sh*t out of someone) I’d say just speak up and/or go for it. There are plenty of us who will love it —Chonjae

I think most men love it. We don’t understand women and we like it when you make it simple for us. You think there are more thoughts in our head than there are. A woman saying do this or do that or I want this, just makes life easier for us. And don’t hint, just say it. —Phi87

16. What does a p*ssy taste like?

The actual taste varies pretty wildly depending on a lot of factors. Different women have a different taste, and each woman will be different depending on the day. All of them taste very distinctly like p*ssy, though. People say it might taste a little like this or a little like that, and there is some truth to that, but really, p*ssy tastes like p*ssy.

Our main experience isn’t with the taste, though (unless there is some kind of problem). It’s with the smell, and with what I am going to assume are pheromones or a similar effect on the brain triggered by it. If willing to comment on it, I think a lot of men would confirm the euphoric release of really happy, seriously eye-rolling chemicals in our brain when going down, and catching a good hit of it. This happens before our mouth even touches the labial area or vagina. It’s like a drug.

Now, there are some outlying situations where things might be less enjoyable. Been out dancing all night and got all sweaty? Not too bad, but probably a lot more funky. Too soon after end of a period? We’ll notice and probably cut it short pretty quick and move back up. Ate some asparagus? Yep. That applies to you too. The most surprising thing I’ve run into a couple of times, though, wasn’t to do with the olfactory senses. It’s having to pull a little wad of previously-hidden toilet paper off of my tongue. Ignore it, don’t think about it, and move on, amirite? —Synaesthee

 

17. Be honest: do you think you clean your penis often enough and thoroughly enough?

You gotta match your preparation to the situation. If I’m going to work I’m probably not thinking about how clean my d*ck is, but if I expect anybody’s face to be near it then I’ll give it a thorough washing. Likewise if you’re going to rip somebody’s pants off as soon as they get off of work, be prepared for the chance of them not being as clean as they could be. I wouldn’t be offended if I was asked to give it a scrub beforehand, though —sexchoc

18. How does it feel like to have a d*ck? Like can you move it around on command? Does having one feel uncomfortable at times?

I can make it ‘jump’ up and down with kegels. It’s not very dexterous however. I can move my toes more. —Cunt_Bucket_

19. I’ve heard that when guys poke their belly buttons, they can feel it in their penis. Is this true? Some have told me yes, some have told me no.

You just made so many guys poke their belly buttons. —MeetballsDK

More AskReddit confessions:

Aimeé Lutkin