There’s so much to worry about when it comes to wedding etiquette. And honestly? There shouldn’t be. Weddings are supposed to be a beautiful celebration and an awesome party where you can hang out with all your friends. If someone is wearing the “wrong color” or says something weird, well, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where that hasn’t happened — my own included. Just embrace it.
One woman on Reddit is wondering if her choice of a black dress for her son’s wedding is going to ruin the event.
I mean, I’ve seen tons of people wear black dresses at weddings, but apparently there’s something about the OP wearing one that puts her son off.
The OP explains that she has an okay relationship with her son’s fiancee but “there is some animosity between her family and myself. Nothing that I feel can’t be overlooked especially for their wedding.”
“I have been looking for dresses for a few weeks now. I hadn’t found anything I really liked until this weekend. However the dress is black. I know there’s some ideas that a MIL wearing black to a wedding is inappropriate, showing she doesn’t approve and such. But this is the only dress that I like. I’ve told my son about the dress and he seemed put off, but he’s accepted it. I don’t know if he’ll tell his fiancé or not.”
“I’m not going to keep looking for a new dress, the black one has been purchased. I know how it will look but honestly, if my son is okay with it, I don’t exactly see the problem. The only reason I think I may be the a**hole is due to the supposed inappropriateness of it. Otherwise I don’t really see anything wrong with wearing it.”
So is wearing a black dress to the wedding inappropriate? Redditors weighed in, focusing on how it wasn’t necessarily the color that was problematic but the OP’s attitude.
“Normally in this kind of situation, holding to outdated traditions, I would have sided with OP. There is already friction between OP and future-DIL as well as friction between OP and her family. Even her son recoiled at the idea before seemingly begrudgingly accepting it. Even if OP is not ‘trying’ to make a statement, the statement will be made regardless and will create a problem,” said TogarSucks.
“She clearly doesn’t like the woman marrying her son and this is her childish way of expressing her disapproval of their upcoming marriage. She could easily get another dress if she wanted to, but instead she’s choosing to be petulant and selfish. She knows she’ll make a scene showing up in the dress but getting her way is apparently more important than her son and DIL’s wedding being a drama-free and happy occasion,” observed OrdinaryOrder8.
“Many, many people wear black to weddings. Particularly very formal weddings. A little black dress is a staple of weddings lol. I have never heard of this etiquette deal with a mother of the bride/groom wearing a black dress being seen as a statement on the wedding/couple. However, since this mom has, and likely then her family has, I wouldn’t wear one. Why even take a risk of casting a pall over the event or having people think you don’t approve?” asked _Julanna.
“You know it’s a problem, there’s a reason you asked your son (manipulative, by the way. I assume he’s afraid to say no to you by the way you talk) as opposed to talking to your future DIL about how SHE would feel about it. You clearly don’t approve of the wedding either. Grow up, talk to the bride to be, and save the dress for another occasion or return it,” said thekatamarikid.
“‘He seemed put off, but he accepted it.’ You’re well aware that he’s uncomfortable, why would you put your personal aesthetic above how comfortable the bride and groom of their own wedding feels?” asked switchbladewitch.