Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago. Either way, these were the 15 funniest tweets we saw this week.
Because ‘My First Book of Scissoring’ was the only other option? pic.twitter.com/faDbKScCqY
— Manda LikeCatsOK? (@Manda_like_wine) April 20, 2016
FRIEND: Pretend like you’re not too interested
DATE: My grandmother recently passed away
ME: Who cares
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) April 20, 2016
ted cruz bout to win a oscar for this shit pic.twitter.com/t7oub11hrx
— smash mouth fan (@HumanPog) April 19, 2016
me: this beer tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow LOL
bartender: are you going to say that every sip?
me: I’m unemployed
— PapeяWash© (@PaperWash) April 19, 2016
“If my calculations are correct, I should have enough food for one month.”
— Sassafrantz (@Sassafrantz) March 31, 2016
Shots fired pic.twitter.com/OsQYD9fd8W
— Meredith Frost (@MeredithFrost) April 19, 2016
before and after making a Twitter account pic.twitter.com/NKnumimB1K
— ben (@benjamillions) April 19, 2016
Can he do this pic.twitter.com/0IbKQrOPPx
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) April 18, 2016
I love finding old notes to myself. I wonder if I ever bought that olive oil
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) April 18, 2016
[creation of bats]
God: stretch out that mouse
— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) April 18, 2016
ME: do you think I’m too trusting? … ow!
“THERAPIST”: sorry, can you stay still?
ME: thx for letting me pay in kidneys btw
— Melican (@MelKassel) April 18, 2016
My favorite diet strategy is to be so drunk that I drop my food, but not so drunk that I pick it back up and eat it.
— Gwen (@msgwenl) April 17, 2016
did anyone else see this happen. holy shit pic.twitter.com/kFviJqrQ7J
— rob whisman (@robwhisman) April 15, 2016
if youre just waking up from a coma, facebook is now a 1 minute cooking video website
— chuuch (@ch000ch) April 14, 2016
[Cop arresting a centipede]
*opens crate of new handcuffs*
— Wylde de Beest (@flashember) April 14, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s funniest tweets.