Jason Mustian
11.
Twitter is a dating service for matching strangers with the hills that they didn’t know they wanted to die on
— Rob Manuel – follow @fesshole (@robmanuel) October 16, 2019
12.
It’s smart of Trudeau to hold the election before Halloween, I mean why even tempt yourself?
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 17, 2019
13.
no one:
forever 21 t-shirt: i eat pizza for a living and fuck ur dad
— ً (@wealthygay) October 13, 2019
14.
Ridiculous that they made a movie about a man who can talk to the animals. Anyone can talk to the animals. This morning I told a swan to fuck off.
— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) October 15, 2019
15.
hey TSA how you gonna take my toothpaste cause it’s “too big” but let me board with all this ass?
— parker (@allergic_2_sex) October 14, 2019
16.
I put the “no” in “I’ll let you know”
— Killa (@killaLaura) October 10, 2019
17.
just remembered that multiple people see my side profile every day pic.twitter.com/NtPXL6Vdiq
— emma (@emamma_mia) October 13, 2019
18.
sometimes having a family amazon account is…..embarassing pic.twitter.com/6uXX2xWvWl
— eco goth (@5150wonderbread) October 15, 2019
19.
My wife asked me to help decorate the cookies for her sister’s baby shower, and then just as quickly asked me to please stop helping. pic.twitter.com/88pGGzjwCE
— Alan Denton (@AlanTheWriter) October 5, 2019
20.
y’all i’m at my friends house and i go to use the bathroom and- pic.twitter.com/HKMCRJckJj
— Arianne (@badbitchbeys) October 8, 2019