Pleated-Jeans
41.
please present the signed permission slip from your therapist before approaching me romantically
— mb✨ (@marybethbarone) October 3, 2019
42.
high school teachers: your college professors won’t be nearly as laid back as I am
my college professor: pic.twitter.com/ivKLR4afxX
— M (@atmckenna) October 16, 2019
43.
Me when the TSA asks if I have anything illegal in my purse pic.twitter.com/ccDiWl40Y1
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) October 16, 2019
44.
When my alarm goes off mid-dream, I’ll hit snooze, thinking, “Hold on, I want to see where this goes…” as if I’m the broadcast news producer in a movie where the anchor is going off book.
— Melissa Hunter (@melissaFTW) October 17, 2019
45.
All I want for my birthday is my husband to take me to a remote tropical island where we can lie on the beach for 2 days completely uninterrupted
…and then on the third day a mysterious heiress is murdered in the lobby and oh no all the guests are suspects and we must solve it
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 9, 2019
46.
Been together since 4pm, no problems. I go to the bathroom ONCE 45 seconds in, and I have to rush out to this: pic.twitter.com/AN1iaZYe2k
— Madeline (@madelaneeee) September 27, 2019
47.
i just wanted to have a relaxing movie night pic.twitter.com/ZkZVsmvVa1
— Leena (@LeenaSalinas) September 21, 2019
48.
priest: do you promise to love your partner until cancel culture do you part?
bride: and I oop
groom: and I oop
priest: sksksksks tea I now prounounce you skinny legend and wife
— Abby Govindan (@abbygov) September 20, 2019
49.
*sends funny tweet to youngest sis*
sis:
sis:
sis:
sis [4 days later]: lol! btw can i borrow £73 ❤
— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) September 23, 2019
50.
More funny tweets, memes, and pictures:
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